Read to me ~ Xingyun

39

Tw// mention of suicide, mention of abuse.

Xingqiu POV:

Once we got home I felt somewhat ok again, I was still pretty shaken up and I think yun could tell.

"Xingqiu.. what happened?" He asked,

"Oh- um nothing I just zoned out that's all!" I tried to force a smile,

"No.. I mean what happened in that windowseat. What happened to you? I don't think I've seen you look that upset in a while."

I froze.

I couldn't tell him.

There's no way.

I couldn't..

But..

I wanted to.

I wanted to tell him everything.

I didnt want to keep anything from him..

But if he knew surely he would...

It would make him so sad......

"You don't have to tell me anything but.. if you want to tell me I will listen." He spoke softly,

I took a breath.

"I... I tried to kill myself."

"You did... what?" His eyes were suddenly full of fear.. or sadness.. I couldn't tell. I knew I shouldn't have told him.

"I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have told you just.. forget it."

"No- Xingqiu that's not... its good that you told me, just... when was this?"

"About a year and a half ago.."

"Wait... that one kid that didn't come to school for ages... and we had that whole suicide awareness assembly... was that...?"

"Yeah.. that was my fault. Sorry."

"No No! Don't you dare apoligise! I'm.. I'm so proud of you Xingqiu.."

"What?"

"You.. even though you did... that... you still.. you're still here today and it must've been so scary... you're so brave.." he was trying to smile but tears were filling his eyes..

"Yun yun.. I wasn't brave.. I was weak. I didn't keep fighting I tried to give up. And the only reason I didn't try again was because of my brother and then...

You.."

Chongyun seemed to freeze, I don't think he knew what to say. That was fair enough because if I was in his situation I wouldn't know what to say either.

"Xingqiu, my love, you are the single most brave boy I've ever met.." he whispered,

My heart squeezed, I felt my cheeks get hot,

"Yun.. call me that again.."

"The.. bravest boy I've ever met..?" He spoke confusedly,

"No no.. the other bit.." I corrected, not taking my eyes off of his,

"My.. love..?"

My heart squeezed again,

"Yes.. that."

"What do you like that nickname?" He asked,

I nodded in response,

His tears seemed to slow down and his crying was replaced with... laughter?

"Oh Xingqiu, you really are adorable!" He laughed, wiping his eyes,

I could just tell that my face was red,