☆When Stars Align★ [Regulus Black]

⊱★⊰ 34 ⊱★⊰

⊱ ★ ⊰ ★ ⊱ ★ ⊰
'34 - Comfort & Grief'

"CARINA ELAYNE TOUSSAINT"

The common room was empty, as expected.

I ended up sitting myself down in front of the fireplace, just watching it. My peace and quiet didn't last long though.

"How long are we going to go on like this for?" a voice from behind me said.

"Like what?" I asked.

Remus came into view, sitting beside me on the couch.

He sighed. "You know what I mean." he replied.

I turned to look at him. He was already watching me, waiting for a response or maybe for my reaction.

I faced the fireplace again, letting out a heavy sigh.

"What's on your mind?" Remus asked quietly.

"Too much and nothing at all." I muttered.

He was silent for a moment as we both watched the flames dance.

"You know, I still haven't got a clue about what went down during the full moon. James and Sirius refuse to tell me." Remus whispered.

I glanced at him. He was looking down at his hands in his lap, eyebrows scrunched together in thought.

"I can't help...I can't help but think it was because of me." he whispered.

I knew I'd have to talk to him about it eventually. I just...didn't want it to be so soon. In fact, I'd have preferred it if he didn't have to know at all.

I can not bring myself to tell him. I can not bring myself to do that to him. He'll be devastated to know that it was in fact him that left me in that condition.

Even if it was his wolf side, he'll hate himself. It'll eat away at him. Day and night, he won't let it go.

He'll blame himself for the rest of his life and he'll isolate and suffer in silence, it's what he does.

I can't tell him. I'd rather never tell him. I'll die before putting him through that.

I don't care if it's wrong to withhold something like that from him.

So instead, I cry.

I cover my face with my hands and cry.

I don't know why I do, but I cry and Remus holds me and I'm so glad to be back in his arms and to have him here with me of all people and to have my best friend and my soulmate beside me because I missed him.

I missed him and I hate fighting with him and I want us to go back to normal.

Remus holds me tightly and we stay that way, watching the fire until my tear stained cheeks are fully dried and we don't speak a single word.