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'57 - Certainly, Uncertain'

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'CARINA ELAYNE TOUSSAINT'

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'CARINA ELAYNE TOUSSAINT'

I think we both seem to be having a difficult time with this, well, I don't even know what to call it. It's not that I don't believe in my mother... I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I have been walking around for so many years with false memories. Seeing people's faces and never knowing about our shared pasts? It just, it's an inconceivable thing to process.

It's as though my entire life was a big lie. Regulus appears to be going through this mental turmoil as well. At least, that's what Evan had told Maria, who then of course told me.

We haven't spoken since. Somehow, even in our shared classes for the past two weeks, we haven't really had to...

I truly can't even recall much of what happened after the memories were 'restored'. I think him and I are due for a conversation at some point though. The question is when? And how? Maybe he doesn't care at all and I'm the one overthinking, or maybe he has seen something completely different? Maybe his memories aren't even close to what mine appear as.

Maybe they're not even real.

With a heavy sigh, I stared down at my dinner plate. I haven't been able to have a good appetite since. And these thoughts are never ending. It's the same thing over and over and over.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so eager to go through with it all.

"You've barely eaten." Remus stated softly, nudging me.

I pushed the plate forward and away from myself. "Guess I'm not that hungry."

"Again?" he questioned in that worried tone of his.

With another sigh, I buried my face in my hands.

"I can't stand to see you like this." he commented in response to my non answer.

I hate the way he's been pitying me. "Take a seat then." I said, the words coming out muffled through my palms.

It was Remus's turn to sigh.

Uncovering my face, I glanced around the Great Hall not finding who I was looking for. Why would I? I haven't seen him at any meals since that night. Coward. He's probably hiding away in his dorm or by the lake or, ugh, why should I care?

Clearly, he doesn't. Even after the entire promising thing he had me do. 'We're in this together, blah blah blah'. What absolute bull-

I jumped, feeling a tap from behind. Turning toward the source, I found my sister standing behind me awkwardly.

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 08 ⏰

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