Tommy's Trans Teen Survival. // FTM // TommyInnit Angst. // DSMP

Part 7 ~ Support

~ Wilbur POV ~

After we streamed, Tommy had this look in his eyes, it was full of joy. God, with how proud I was of him, I couldn't imagine how proud he was of himself. I pull him into a hug, rubbing his back. "I know I don't say this enough, but, I'm proud of you king. I know, I don't understand the struggles of dysphoria and I only know surface levels of what being Trans is, but, nonetheless, I am still so proud of you. I'm glad to be able to call you my brother." I whisper to him, and feel him relax in my arms. We sit there for like, 10 minutes? "Can you explain to me everything about what being Trans is, and what the do's and don'ts are?" I ask him, he nods. Probably eager to talk about it with someone, while he explains I nod to show my listening and understanding of the topic, asking questions of what I'm not sure about, smiling as he explains further, rambling on and on. After he'd done, I nod one last time, "And, I love masculine compliments more than any compliment." He finishes and smiles up at me. "Shall we do something today?" I ask him and he nods, "Like what?" He asks, as to which I shrug. "We could.." I was cut off by a call, Tommy picked up his phone answering it, "Hello?" He put it on speaker, it was Kristin, "Tommy! I am so proud of you, Phil is as well. We are so happy that you finally felt comfortable to share it with the internet." She says, Tommy smiles again, "I only felt comfortable with my brother here, he supported me through it I suppose, he even let me ramble about what it actually is and go into depths on it and stuff." He told her, looking up at me. "Well, either way, I'm so proud as a canonical mother." She says, a smiles audible.

 After the call, Tommy was spammed with even more congratulation messages from friends and fans, he put his phone on silent turning back to me. "Can we have a walk around a park or something? Then get food or something." He asks and I nod, getting up leaving him to get himself ready.

~ Tommy POV ~

I have no idea if Wilbur could tell or not, but I was worried about a lot of things. 1. How my fans would react, 2. I live in Nottingham, what if Transphobic roadmen saw that clip and came after me, 3. Hate on Twitter, what if people didn't believe me? 4. Would I be purposefully misgendered on social media? Those were my main worries, I get myself ready, smiling at the mirror. It fades a little as I notice the slight problems with it. I sigh and think about cancelling on Wilbur, but I end up convincing myself he'll pick up on the worries and ask me about them, so I walk downstairs smiling at him. We head to a park and walk around it, passing kids who vape, smoke weed, drink alcohol and so on. We sit on a bench and laugh with each other for a while. Like brothers do. Then, a question pops up. One I thought I got rid off a while ago. Does he see any different of me now I'm out? He's not gonna start treating me like how men stereotypically treat women, like they're weak and can't fend for themselves. I keep smiling as I look around, being mentally dragged down by that one question. Does he still see me as his brother? I can't help but ask myself more questions, which isn't good. I'm gonna start overthinking it, until I bully myself into staying in bed until I feel better, which would be a good few days to a few weeks, eventually even months. But, it's never gotten that bad before, why would it start now? 

After sitting there for a few more hours, just overthinking, eventually being dragged out of my thoughts by fans asking for photos. I was mentally drained, and I don't think having low blood pressure and lack of food and drink items today, I lean my head on Wilbur's shoulder, looking up at him, scared to ask the question that's been haunting me for months. "Can we go eat now? My blood pressure is unsteadily declining." I ask, jokingly, he smiles at me and nods, reaching into his pocket passing me a bag of sweets. We stand up, making our way to the bus stop to go into town for food. One thing I like about Wilbur, is how he brings sweets and stuff when we go out in case my blood pressure gets too low. However, he does give me a ton of gender envy, and I've started mirroring him, whether that be by clothing, haircuts, certain habits I've picked up off of him. The fans have noticed it too, which has made the SBI Family Head canon stronger. I try not to think about it too much, but sometimes I wonder if Techno would've been proud of me. I never had the chance to come out to him before he passed. I hope he'd be proud of me, Wilbur assures me Techno would be proud of me no matter what, so I'm safely assuming he wouldn't mind it.

After I get home, and Wilbur's gone, I go to my room, laying down. I avoided the mirror after spotting my imperfections earlier. It was difficult, and I hate thinking about my difficulties when I know there are people out there who have it much worse than I do, those who live in homophobic and transphobic households. People who get told they're aren't trans or non binary because they don't follow a specific stereotype. People who don't get much dysphoria or people who get tons of dysphoria. People with depression and anxiety and other mental related disorders. Sometimes, I hate myself for it, for feeling this way when people out there with valid reasons feel the same way as me, I feel terrible for it because I have no reason too. Well, my mother tells me I have all the right in the world to feel this way, but it's hard to believe because when I start to convince myself she's right, I start feeling better and it just washes all the convincing down the drain. I refused therapy about the way I feel because it would be a waste for me, the therapist and my parents when we get told I'm fine. 

A/N 

Make sure to look after your mental health my loves <3

Pick Up Linee :D :

Are your clothes 10% off? . . . . 

. . . . Because at mine, they're 100% off ;D.