Tommy's Trans Teen Survival. // FTM // TommyInnit Angst. // DSMP

Part 9 ~ Consequences

TW- Mention of self harm

Kristin looked down at me, "Tommy, are you okay? You look really pale?" She says and I nod, sitting up. I watch as her eyes trail down to my damp sleeve, she gently takes it but I pull it away, standing up a little too quickly for my body's liking, and due to my low blood pressure, and probably the fact I've been bleeding for the past half hour, I pass out. 

I wake up in a hospital bed, bit of an exaggeration if you ask me. My mother looks at me, standing up, she smiles and places her hand on my shoulder. Phil is talking with my dad, and Kristin is sat in the chair beside the one my mother was in. "Tommy, why did you do this?" She asks, pointing to the bandages ever so carefully as if with the smallest gust of wind, I'd crack and do it all again. I shrug, folding my arms, "It helped me, I guess." I say, my words quieter than I'd intended. My mum teared up, sitting back down. "I was, uh, feeling dysphoric. Wilbur had just left, and, well.." I try to say, curling myself up in a ball. 

Back at home, I sit in my bedroom, deciding to go live on the Dream SMP, when Wilbur calls me. I ignore it, and hit the go live button, I smile, welcoming chat in, explaining what the stream will be. I hum, loading into the world. George, Dream and Sapnap are online, so I run over to see what they're doing, to no ones surprise. The two are on a crafting table while Sapnap watches them, I shake my head a little, going to collect cobblestone. I hum, playing the able sisters, thanking viewers for donations and answering their questions. "Hm? Bandage?" I say, looking at the chat, then at my arm. "Oh, I fell down the stairs cutting it on the side of the wall. It's nothing serious." I smile, going back to adding to my house. I hum and get a call from Wilbur, I mute it, going back to my stream. I knew Wilbur, he was definitely blaming himself for what happened, but, I couldn't dare speak to him. I get a discord notification, looking at it. 'King, I'm so so sorry for letting that happen. Please speak to me, I see you're online.' he says, I turn off my phone, throwing it on my bed. "Sorry chat, just my many women trying to contact me." I laugh, stepping back to admire my house. 

Tubbo calls me, so I answer it. "King, are you and Wil alright? He says you're ignoring him or something." Tubbo asks and I act shocked, "Hm? What, no. He's my brother, plus, he wants to talk about something important, so, can't really on stream." I say, and he makes an 'ohh' sound. "Wanna join?" I ask and he says yes, so we play for hours. I don't really wanna stop streaming because that means I have to face Wilbur. So, I change the title to just chatting, changing the title, calling the first person I see. Ranboo. He answers, and Bill is there as well. I smile, "Ranboo, my handsome homosexual." Tommy greets, making Bill laugh. "Tommy, the token straight, how're you doing this fine night?" Ranboo asks, and Tommy smiles wider. He loved the way he could interact with Ranboo, no cares in the world. "I'm great actually." I lie, really I was shitting myself for the chat with Wilbur. Speaking of Wilbur, my door swings open and I turn to look at the tall man in the doorway. He looks at me, and I mute. "Wil, I'm live." I say and he nods, walking over. He looked pissed. Chat seem to notice this as Ranboo starts asking questions. Wilbur walks over, moving my chair, kneeling down. I take my headphones off as he forces me to make eye contact with him. "End stream. We need to talk." He says, and I look at the camera, then at chat. Wilbur moves and I unmute, "Very sorry, but, Wilbur wants to talk to me chat." I say, frowning and Wilbur closes the door. "Aww, chat, I have been live for like 5 hours at this point-" "Tommy!" Wilbur shouts, making me jump. I look at him, "I'm ending it now, fucksake Wil!" I shout, and he looks at me. I finish saying bye, forgetting to hang up on Ranboo and Bill.

"What do you mean 'Fucksake Wil'?!" He shouts at me, and I put my headphones on the desk. "You could've died today, Tommy! And that would've been my fault because I left you alone!" He shouts at me, and I look down. "Then, you fucking ignored me all day, and spoke to Tubbo, Ranboo and Bill!" He continues, and Phil walks in to diffuse the situation. "William." He says, sternly. But, he continues. "I'm pissed off Tommy! You don't fucking understand." He says, when I shout back at him. "You don't understand either! You're cis, you are something I will never fucking be!" I shout, getting up, grabbing the blade from my bedside table, running out of the room. This was a terrible feeling, one no one should ever feel.

I needed to be out of here, but, someone pulled me into a hug before I could open the front door. I look at my mother, who rubs my back, taking the blade, putting it down. I look down as she holds me in her embrace. "Tommy." Wilbur says, once he gets downstairs. Kristin glares at him, shaking her head. I look at him, and he sighs, "I'm sorry, I don't want you doing the same thing I did." He mutters. I step away from my mother, as he makes his way closer. He places his hand on my shoulder, and I look up at him. "I wanted to talk earlier, but, you went live. I asked Tubbo, but, you played with him. Then, you rang Ranboo-" He says, but I cut him off, "Ranboo was live. I didn't hang up." I mutter, pushing past him, and upstairs into my bedroom. I sit at the desk, laughing awkwardly. "Don't worry, I defeaned it for you." Bill says, I breathe a sigh of relief, as Wilbur walks back in the room. I smile and Wilbur pulls a stool, sitting next to me. He looks around the room, fiddling with his hands. I plug in some earphones handing them to him, he puts them in his ears, moving forward to be able to reach the microphone. Ranboo speaks up, "Was that a bit?" He asks and I look at Wilbur, "It was." He says, smiling a little. 

After a while, Kristin walks in, ruffling Wilbur's hair, placing a hand on Tommy's shoulder. "Give your canonical mother a hug, me and Phil have to go now." She says, making Tommy smile. Ranboos chat is filled with 'awes' and 'Mumza<33' Tommy gets up, hugging her, sitting back down. Wilbur stands up, hugging her tightly. "Bye Wil, bye Toms." She says, walking away. "Bye mum." Tommy says, smiling. He turns to Wilbur and whispers. "I'm her favourite." "No you are not." He replies, making the younger laugh. "Yes I am." He hums, going back to their conversation.