Better as Bones

dusty sapphire - VII

Bastet

I walk back into the alley I left Quarry in. He still lays in the same spot, eyes wide up at the light sky.

"Quarry?" I ask. He blinks. I go and sit by him, my hands tracing the place where Thorn's tears touched my neck. That was embarrassing. I can't hide the red on my face either.

"What are we going to do Bastet?" he breathes. "I can't–I can't anymore. We have to do something." He's like a worn shirt.

I frown. What could we do to escape again?

"I miss Milo," He murmurs. I look down at him.

"We can go see him," I offer. Quarry shakes his head. His tear-pricked eyes meet mine as he sits up. The first time since we escaped the palace.

"I'd have to explain all this." Quarry waves his hand at us. "Why Roux is dead, why Avery isn't with us. Bastet, we can't let everyone ever know you murdered the Queen." I frown deeper.

"My stomach hurts," I say quietly. Quarry sighs. We stay quiet. My hands clutch my stomach. I want to go home.

"Let's go to Kyson," I whisper. Quarry looks up at me. He widens his eyes slightly before turning back down.

"I've never been to Kyson before," He says. Quarry's eyes meet mine again. "Okay."

"Okay?" I ask. He nods.

"We'll go to Kyson." We'll go to Kyson. I'm going back home. Maybe if we go I can still find that comfort. Maybe if we go, I can feel better.

I hope I can feel better.

Why do I hope for that? I shouldn't be allowed to feel better. I'm a bad person and that's it. I don't want to be a bad person. But I killed someone.

My stars. My stars are fickle and fail me. I harm people with my myth.

Maybe it would be better if I didn't have it at all. I hardly hurt anyone when I still had my chip. Then I only bled life I didn't know I had, but even then, if I got hurt now it would justify my way of feeling. I would finally have a reason to cry and a reason to be sick.

"If we leave soon we can be there by tomorrow," Quarry says. I nod.

"I want to go home."

"I have to get out of here."

We smile to each other.

* * *

We wish our alley home goodbye swiftly before we rush out. We push through the city, heads down and breath hurried as we make to the forest. Those deep woods.

I let out a breath as the treeshops turn just to thick trunks and dirt-worn roads turn to bramble and undergrowth. The sun strains down shakily.

"We can make it by nightfall," I tell Quarry. "It only took me half a day. But I was going downhill." Quarry ties up his hair out of his face. A few strands stray in his eyes. He frowns.

"Is Kyson scary?" He asks. I shuffle my feet as I lead us forward.

"Since when are you scared of Kyson?" I ask him, trying to push out my joking tone. Quarry cracks a small smile.

"Since you mentioned Aken." I don't respond. "It's the military city, right?"

"Yeah," I mutter, looking down. My boots are scuffed. Quarry hums.

"Well we have myth so I think we'll be okay." I glance up at Quarry. His eyes are focused on my dim stars.

"If we haven't lost it when we arrive," I mutter. Quarry lifts his head, eyebrows furrowed.

"Since when do you have an unhealthy coping mechanism?" He asks, eyes wide. He cracks another smile, his lip peeling up so I can only see his front teeth and gums.

"Wait hold on," I start. Quarry holds up his hands in defeat.

"Nope no, I know you now Bastet. Damn, okay dude," Quarry chuckles. It doesn't sound empty. I twist my tongue against my teeth.

"Please, you already know I'm a terrible person," I say, half-joking. Eyebrows drawn in, Quarry frowns.

"Who said that, dumbass?" I look down. "Besides, don't get too bad. I still need you around, even if you are a dumbass."

"Wow thanks Quarry," I say, glancing up at him. He flashes a grin. I snort.

"Anytime. Now, Kyson?" He asks. I sigh. The trees are thicker out here than back in Maylea. The undergrowth too. The ferns stay out of the sunlight.

"You just need to keep to yourself in Kyson. If someone talks to you just put your head down and move on. It's safer that way." Quarry frowns at me. "What?"

"That's dangerous, though," He says. I look at him, confused.

"If you speak up or do something you want you get hurt or hurt others," I tell him. "Ignoring things keeps you safe."

"Not everyone's like Hadron or Thorn, Bastet," Quarry says, looking forward. My eyes turn down. Thorn isn't like anyone I know now. But Hadron...

"I know," I say quietly. We stay silent for a moment, listening to the soft stumble of leaves sweeping against each other.

"You know," Quarry starts, glancing up at the flickering sunlight. "I feel bad too. I couldn't stand up to Hadron for so long. And then when I did, I could hardly do anything."

"Quarry—" I whisper. His focus slips, eyes trained on his shoes. Lips twisted. "It was still brave of you."

"That doesn't matter. I wanted to stand up to him for so long and I never did and then I got out and for what? To still have these scars on my body in unavoidable places and bruises that haven't gone away because it's only been a few months since I managed to escape." Quarry bites his cheek, blinking away tears. They roll down his face. "Just to be worse than I was then to try to be better."

"I've...never been hit like that," I tell him slowly. Quarry keeps his eyes trained. "But I do know what it's like to be hurt in a way that makes every part of your body feel like it's on fire. And I know you were brave. And I know you did what you thought was right then and now."

Quarry blinks again, sucking in a ragged breath. His lungs sound snotty.

"We don't know anything, do we?" He asks, frowning so deep I have to frown a bit to make up for him. I keep moving forward. The sky's slits paint dusty sapphire in the morning light.

"We're going to Kyson. Even if we are running away. We don't know."