Better as Bones

it's gross - XXII

Bastet

Wind knocks my face, causing me to spring up. I blink frantically, something looming above me. My eyes clear.

"Bastet!" Milo smiles, holding out a hand to help me up. I take it as I stumble to my feet. Milo's grin spreads across his entire face. 'How are you? Are you going to stay long?'

I hesitate in answering. Instead my eyes go from Milo to the ground.

"I have to tell you something," I murmur, lifting my head. Milo smiles a little, the corners of his mouth making markings in his skin. He takes a hesitant step back.

'I'm scared? What is it?' I fight with the pressure and heat in my throat. It burns blisters inside. Soon, I feel, it will spread to my stomach. Maybe it will spread to my face.

I have to tell Milo. He deserves to know. Quarry is the person he chose, strangely enough, but nevertheless they care about each other more than I'm aware. Not only that, but I need Milo. He's the only person I have now and somehow we have to come up with a plan to rescue Quarry.

I just...I don't want him to hate me. I don't want another friend to turn their back.

I lift my head, my eyes meeting Milo's. His smile wavers. He's using it instead of breaking down. I flick my eyes down, fire blazing through my body. My skin feels all mossy.

"Quarry and I went to Kyson. He was captured by Kysonian undercovers. I'm sorry," I whisper the last part. Milo's eyes seem far away. His eyebrows drawn up and mouth opened slightly. He finally frowns, his eyes flickering down to me.

His hands shake as he signs: 'What?'

"We went for me. Blame me. I–I tracked him back to a building they forced him into." My voice breaks as I hurry through the words. Milo doesn't listen. He grips my upper arm gently as his lungs hitch. He presses his fingers into my skin as he frantically blinks away tears. They stream down his face like rain in a downpour.

My stomach feels heavy. My body's squirming from his tears. He's allowed to cry. He can cry. Milo can cry over me getting his boyfriend captured. He's allowed to.

So why is my body acting like this? Why do I feel my lips curl up in disgust at Milo's tears? He's allowed to cry. He's allowed to cry.

Gross. It's gross.

Shut up shut up shut up.

'What are we going to do?' Milo signs, his hands so shaky he has to take heaving breaths between each movement. I stare at him. Gross. Shut up.

"I don't know," I tell him. "You're the only person I thought to come too." Milo frowns, something warm in his eyes.

'Thank you.' I nod. I'm disgusting. I got Quarry captured and Milo isn't even blaming me? It's my fault. Why isn't he blaming me? Why is he crying instead of screaming?

"Mars said Avery's coronation is in a few days?" I swallow. Milo looks down at me, his grip releasing. I shy away from his eyes.

'Avery's?' Milo asks. I bite the fleshy part of my lip, fighting back tears.

"She's the runaway," I tell him, signing 'princess'. Milo's eyes go wide, a gasp escaping his lips.

'Avalynn?' He asks. I nod. Milo scrunches up his face. 'Have you told her?'

"No," I whisper, signing. My shoulders meet my ears as I chew my cheeks. Milo's deft hands break my vision. He waves his fingers swiftly. I look up at him.

'We should go.' I frown. Milo raises his eyebrows at me, his eyes wide.

"We're not going to be let in," I point out. Milo frowns, his eyes feeling like daggers but they're barely sharpened.

'Why not? Avery'll let us in.' My eyes go blurry. Why does this happen? Why suddenly can't I see? I can hardly make out Milo's face now.

"We won't be let in," I choke out. Someone's choking me. Fingers wrap around my throat, pressing in. Maybe they hope to strangle me dead.

Milo stares down at me, his eyes brimming in confusion. He frowns, leaning down slightly so he can see my face. If I don't look at him he'll think I was the reason that Avery won't let us in. That is true, but I can't tell him that.

I shrug instead. It probably isn't helping my case, but I feel if I look anywhere right now besides the space between Milo and the treeline I'm going to shatter.

'Well if I don't go with you I'm probably not being let in either. We're associated and known friends so it won't work out. We need a third party,' He says, straightening his spine. 'They can let us in from the outside.' I nod, sniffing. Milo nods back, his eyes steady as he stretches his wings back.

'Follow me.'