Lonely heart | cb

five

"Okay, so I already made you guys a tik tok, twitter, and instagram." I tell Logan the next time we're at work.

Logan looks at me like he's surprised. "You know you don't have to do all of that." He tells me but I shrug.

I finish making the Vegas Bomb and give it to the guy. "I want to. I think it'll be fun." I tell him honestly.

I really do think it'll be fun. Almost the whole time we were working, we talked about how I was going to try to get them a gig for New Years.

I'm gonna see if Cody is going to let them play so I can both work and manage them.

When we get done working, Luke locks everything up. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." I wave to Luke, Logan, and Peyton.

As I was driving home, I remembered I had to get some groceries. I drive to the nearest walmart.

Usually I would wait til morning but I'm already in town. I walk into Walmart tiredly from working all night.

As I'm grabbing some Monsters, I heard someone say my name from behind me.

I look over to see it was Sam and Kat. I haven't seen Sam since the break up.

"Hey. I wasn't expecting you guys to be here." I breathe out.

Honestly, it made me nervous. I could feel my heart beating fast in my chest.

It felt kinda like an anxiety attack. "Yeah, just getting some last minute things before the party tomorrow." Kat spoke up.

"Are you coming by the way?" I purse my lips towards Sam. Don't get me wrong, I would love to.

It's just that Colby's going to be there. "I would love to, but I can't." I frown towards them.

Kat started frowning as well. "We miss you over at the house." She tells me. I miss going over there too.

There was never a dull moment. "How's he doing?" I blurt out. I probably shouldn't ask, but ever since I saw him at in and out, I've been worried.

He looks like he's not doing so well. I didn't have to say his name, they knew who I was talking about.

"He's just now starting to leave the house and go out again. He's not doing so well." Sam sadly told me.

For a split second, I feel bad for him. But I remember everything he told me on Halloween night and I just get pissed again.

"Well hopefully things get better for him. I better get going though." They get sad that I wanna leave, but all the memories are flooding back.

We say goodbye and make our separate ways. I really do miss hanging out with them.

But everything got ruined when Colby cheated and then brought up my dad.

I grabbed everything else I needed and paid for everything. I loaded up everything in the car and went to the apartment.

Once everything was loaded inside my apartment, I went to sleep.

I tossed and turned for the majority of the night. My thoughts kept going to Colby.

He could always help with my insomnia. I'm getting a bunch of weird mixed emotions towards him.

Like, one minute I hate him for what I did. Then the next minute, I want to text him and see how he's doing.

I finally fell asleep around five that morning and woke up around eight.

Three hours of sleep, great. I text my mom to see if she's home so I can visit her.

I'm in a funk and I know she'll help. She says she's going to be home all day so I tell her I'm coming over.

I changed into adias joggers and a band shirt with my thick flannel jacket.

I put my hair in a messy bun and head to my car. I drive over to my moms house so I can hang out with her.

When I get there, I walk inside. My mom was sitting on her couch, folding towels.

She pouts whenever she sees me. "You look exhausted honey." She noticed.

I frown while I sit on the couch next to her. "I had a hard time sleeping." I tell her.

She stopped folding her towel and looked at me. "What's wrong?" She asked.

I started explaining everything to her. How I saw Colby and how bad he looks.

I explained how I saw Sam last night and the conversation we had.

She thought about it for a second and sighed. "Colby really loved you." I shook my head at the thought.

"If he did, he wouldn't have cheated on me." I remind her. When I told her what happened, she was worried over me.

It makes sense, I never acted like that for a breakup. "I really think you two are soulmates. But I don't think what he did was right." You know what sucks?

I believe we're soulmates too. I never clicked with someone as fast as I did with him.

I started to tear up while thinking about it. "What do I do?" I ask my mom, my voice cracking a little.

She pouts while looking over at me. "Follow your heart. Do whatever your heart tells you." She speaks honestly.

This is why I love my mom, she always knows what to say. She tells me I should take off tonight so that's what I do.

I didn't feel like dealing with people tonight. I decided to take a mental health day over at my moms.

I spent the day laying on the couch with her, watching movies. She made me lunch and dinner.

I apologized for being here all day, but she said she enjoyed having the company.

I'll have to agree with her though. I've been so lonely recently, the company has been nice.

I think that's why I enjoy being around Logan. When I'm around him, I don't have memories of Colby.

I have brand new memories with him. Logan texted me before they opened and asked where I was.

I told him how I was taking off. I honestly needed the break. It was nice having the break.

I left my moms around ten thirty and went back to the apartment.

Nothing happened for the rest of the night. The next day, I spent most of the day cleaning up the apartment.

Everyone was busy tonight. Luke and Stas were having a date night. Peyton was working while Zander was packing for Australia.

Kat's spending the day with Sam while Logan is playing with his band. I honestly feel so alone.

I went to my kitchen and pulled out my alcohol. I know I shouldn't but I start taking shot after shot.

Before I knew it, I was drunk. I lost count at how many shots I took. An hour and half into drinking, half of the bottle was gone.

It was full when I started, now it's half way gone. I stumble onto the couch and pull my phone out.

I started dialing a familiar number I knew I shouldn't call. It rang a couple times and went to voicemail.

"I know I shouldn't be calling but I'm drunk and I don't know what I'm doing." I slur when it beeps.

I start to tear up but I sucked them back in. "I fucking hate you for what you said to me that night." I say harshly.

"I told you about my problems, and then you threw them in my face." I spit. I have so much built up anger.

But then his sunken in face flashes in my head. Sam telling me him not doing well pops up in my head.

And I start to fucking lose it. "I don't even know why I called. I'm sorry." I hang up the call and lean my head back on the couch.

I wish I had never fell in love with Colby.