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Chapter Sixteen - Neil

Cooking breakfast wasn't something I did often anymore. I used to wake up early enough to make it for two, but obviously that changed.

Now? My sleep schedule just doesn't allow for it.

I hope that Esther wasn't partial to eggs.

The toast popped up and very quickly, I pulled it out of the scorching heat the toaster entrapped in it's mouth full of coils with the fork I was using for butter.

Death had it's chance with me.

Now carrying breakfast for two, I ascended the stairs to find Esther still fast asleep. She was curled into a ball near the middle of the bed, she must have recently moved because when I left her she was on her side facing the windows.

She has a 'her side' now?

Look at us.

I trailed my eyes up at the clock to read that it was nearing eight. I set both of our plates down on my nightstand and crawled back into bed with her.

Esther's eyelids finally fluttered open when I pulled her to my chest. She played with the fabric of my shirt while she woke up more, bringing her knees against my upper thigh.

Honestly? Morning sex sounded so good right now.

But then again... even though we figured some things out with our new dynamic, the actual relationship between us was still blurred.

Do I kiss her when I want to? Do I keep my distance when we're in public? Can we hug? Does she want me to make a move?

I'm so confused, but I'm happy to just be with her.

"G'morning," the sweet, speckled woman yawned.

I rubbed her upper arm and pulled her closer.

"Yes it is. I even made breakfast."

I felt the slight vibration go through me as she hummed in delight.

"What'd you make?"

I don't know if it's just because she's waking up or I was still asleep, but her southern accent was thick as molasses right now.

And I wanted her to keep talking.

Her fingers danced their way across my chest and stomach, pulling and tugging at the peaks where my shirt crumpled.

"I made toast and sliced bananas. I'm not very fancy anymore."

Was that wrong to say?

Fuck.

Now I feel like a piece of shit.

"I mean, I've never really been fancy I just... all I'm trying to say is that I'm different now. Not that you knew me before, but, you know... I'm just gonna stop."

The highlight of my morning ceased when Esther sat up and rubbed her beautiful eyes from any sleep they still held.

"Neil," she sighed, "I don't think I'll ever truly know the psychology behind your actions, but you gotta understand that I have felt some of the same guilt, hurt, and relief that you've felt. You don't have to explain yourself to me."

She wasn't planning on interrogating me?

I sat up and gave her the plate I fixed for her, and she just smiled.

"What did I do to deserve... toast and bananas in bed?" Esther chuckled as she took a piece of the banana and popped it in her mouth.

I watched as she went about eating each thing on the plate, just proud that she wasn't throwing it back in my face.