Amber & Honey ~ [DR3]

38. Sunday

"You can't just hide here." Blake is stood, looking uncomfortable in my presence as I hold onto the door. It's more for support than anything, I wasn't expecting any visitors right now, much less him. It would be far too easy for me to point out to Blake that I can, in fact, just hide here until my flight later today. In fact, that sounds like the ideal plan if I'm being honest.

"I don't really feel like being at the track today." I say plainly. I really don't. I'm exhausted, embarrassed and ready to leave. Most of my things are already packed tightly into my suitcase.

I spent half of the night awake, at first it was on the phone to Mum, explaining everything in tears as she did her best to comfort me from a timezone away. Then Lilly, who was almost tearing her hair out from the explanation of the situation, wishing she was there. Then I tossed and turned in bed before maybe drifting off around 4 or 5am. I rub at my eye tiredly, as if offering an explanation to Blake, he's not convinced by it.

"I know..." He concedes, eyes kind and voice a little quieter than it should be. "But it's race day and Danny didn't want you to be alone, so I really think it's best you come with me." Blake explains, looking at me with soft eyes.

He's honestly the last person I expected to be here, especially after the drama of last night. I've said it before, I don't think that he likes me much - at least that's the impression he's always given me. Daniel denies it but I'm not convinced. I suppose in a way, it shows how good of a friend he is to Daniel (if my hypothesis is correct) that he's still willing to spend time with me.

At the mention of Daniel my heart swells, him trying to look after me makes me feel like I could cry. I'm a very delicate person right now, clearly.

"I really don't think it's a good idea." I mumble pathetically. I sound beyond defeated because that's how I feel. I don't think my presence at the track is a good idea because Lando had texted me this morning, specifically asking me not to turn up today. I say ask...the message came through as a simple threee worded 'Don't come today.'. There wasn't any 'asking' or questioning about it.

Plus, I haven't exactly been answering Daniel's calls or messages. The last communication we had was when he followed me from the elevator last night. He made sure I got to my room and laced a gentle kiss on my forehead as I said 'goodnight'. So the fact that he's sent Blake here to look after me for the day...I can't even comprehend it. It makes my heart ache with feelings and I just want to run into his arms and stay there for three days.

I can't decide if I'm more annoyed at Daniel for spilling everything out, or myself for making such a big deal in the first place. If I had only told Lando then maybe we wouldn't be in such a mess and everything would be okay. Deep down I know if I had just told Lando everything would be okay.

"I know you're upset, and you have every right to be, but c'mon, you can't just stay here all day." Blake tries his best to convince and I chew down on my lip, leaning into the wood of the door. He might have a point, I don't have anything to do here apart from sit and feel sorry for myself and time is already inching by. Even if wallowing alone does sound appealing, it's probably not entirely healthy.

"Okay," I eventually concede, a deep sigh leaving my lips. "Give me thirty minutes." I instruct and Blake nods at me in victory, shoulders falling in relief and a small smile gracing his face. My mind is instantly racing through outfit options for the day and I rub at my eye in tiredness again. He takes a step back from the door shooting me a thumbs up before pushing his square framed glasses up his nose.

"I'll be back then." He confirms, a smile of triumph on his face as he heads away from my room.

-

I took my whole thirty minutes to get ready, the entire time nerves were swirling in my stomach, threatening to make me sick with anxiety. Honestly, I've been fighting the urge to throw up for at least twelve hours. The rush of that paired with the heat of the air made today feel almost unbearable. When he returned to my room Blake came equipped with an iced coffee. I practically downed the whole cup of it on the spot in an effort to rejuvenate myself. It helped a (tiny) bit.