Teach me how to Love

Chapter 23

Clay's heart had never felt more broken than it has now. It was the second week into summer break and now three weeks since George had told him he was leaving. A soul-shattering move George had to endure as Clay stood across from him in tears.

He felt broken, a numb shell of the person he used to be. Clay lays alone in his room, the only company was the dirty dishes and clothes that scatter around him. He cried for hours and sulked wasting away the days as if they were nothing because George was his everything.

The only time Clay would leave the cave he had hidden himself in was when Tubbo was here, though unfortunately it was Maria's weekend with him. Sapnap and Karl on their honeymoon, Tubbo off on a camping trip with his mom Clay became a lonely man in his home.

He knew the messages he had sent to George were selfish; he understood the meaning behind all the ignored calls, but with every dile of the same number and words typed away Clay held on to the tiny amount of hope that remained attached to his bandaged heart.

After another attempted call Clay tosses his phone to be lost in his messy sheets he groans hands lifting to rub away the dried tears and sleep that had crusted around his eyes. The green orbs catch the sight of his abandoned gaming set, saddening him even more. He missed his fans and the fun he had on streams and suddenly an ounce of regret bubbles within.

Clay lifts himself off the bed and steps past a few plates and cups before finding himself sitting in his gaming chair. Dust is carried through the air as he brushes off the keyboard, his fingertips gliding over the different keys.

The hum of his monitor brings back a nostalgic feeling as his hand finds its rightful spot on the mouse. Clay opens his twitch account and goes live ignoring the urge to jump right back under his covers.

"Hey, guys!" His voice is laced with a fake cheerfulness "It's been a while since I've streamed and so I just thought we could hop onto Minecraft and answer some questions and read donations"

The chat flies by with exciting messages the viewers missing their favourite streamer as he had become inactive during the past month. Though much time has passed since streaming, Clay found it easy to fall back into the familiar routine of his job. He smiled one that ached his jaw and creased his cheeks.

"Can you say happy birthday Alison....Happy birthday Alison hope you have an amazing day!"

The donations came in quick and Clay was fast to answer them all while his character runs around the block world. His mood brightens as the adrenaline from streaming kicks in. It was a nice feeling to know that many people in this world saw comfort in his content.

Another question is asked and this time Clay's heart drops to his stomach. "Do you believe in soul mates?"

Four thousand miles away, somewhere in an unknown country to him is the idea of a soulmate. He didn't think that there was a person who you are meant to be with or destined to end up together, but there was this belief of happiness that you could find in another. He would like to believe that George was that joy.

His eyes flicker to the chat then back to his game "Yes I do." He confidently says a flash of a grin tugs at his lips while tears fall from his eyes- A soulmate, a belief of happiness- beacon of joy to him those things were found with George.

The steam ends and his world becomes dark once again. The unspeakable pain of losing someone you love had never been easy and to Clay, it seemed to be an impossible task, a never-ending cycle of distractions and tears. He hopes one day his wounds created by the one he loves would heal.

There was a knock at the door that startled the blond. Clay throws his head back with an irritated groan. He pushes back his chair to stand. "Yes." He sighs, opening the door.

"Hey Dream I'm here to pick up the computer parts you had for me." Phil stood at the doorway with a friendly smile lifting his features.

Clay mentally slaps himself for forgetting. He opens the door more allowing the other to come in. "Yeah right sorry" He drops his head pinching the bridge of his nose "It's been a long week, but I'll go get that for you."

In the black room Clay searches for the box mumbling about the mess and the need to clean out the closet one of these days. He finds the box of old computer parts he picks it up and carries it all over to Phil who sat on the living room couch. "Sorry about that. It was under a bunch of things" He sighs, dropping the box onto the coffee table.

"No worries mate, I'm not worried about time, but you, on the other hand, have me a bit concerned" Phil responds, he stands walking to the kitchen where Clay went to fetch himself a tea. "When was the last time you slept?" The slumped posture and dark bags resting under Clays green eyes gave away his tortured sleepless nights.

Lifting his shoulders in a shrug, Clay shakes his head "It's been on and off ever since George left" He says, his words lost in search of emotion, though it lacked in all of those departments. "It is just all dull now I suppose" He rambles unable to connect the right words to what his mind had been processing.

Phil nods, placing a comforting hand on Clay's shoulder "I heard about that" He says, "but you know everything will work out as it always does. And if you too were truly meant to be together then you will and if not the pain of him leaving will eventually fade may not fully, but enough to smile again."

Words of encouragement that's how Clay took Phil's response. He knew as the days, months or even years that pass without George will become livable once more, but it was hard to look into the future when the present has become so blurry and so Clay nods, mumbling a numbed response. "I suppose."

"You've got this Dream, things will work out." With a final pat on the back, Phil vanishes off with the box of parts and out the door.

Clay and George's love had become an ugly mess; they knew that, the moment rain trickled down on them that stormy night, a fate destined to be torn apart by thousands of miles across a sea of heavy waters. Clay desired a love he had created in his head challenging fate and prophecies deeper within this world.

4000 miles away his heart rested with another.