His Only Beloved (COMPLETED)

Chapter 12

Tiniis ko ang lahat. For four fucking years, tiniis ko lahat ng kahayupan nila. But when the day i lost my first born, nagsisisi akong nanatili ako, i should have left. Pero huli na ang lahat. Sobra na akong huli para magsisi pa. My son was only three.

Bilang ina, nasasaktan ako kada sumbong ni Harold na dinadala ng hayop niyang tatay ang babae niya sa bahay namin. Every fucking time na on duty ako ay pasekreto niyang binabahay ang kabit niyang higad. But what's more painful is that my son.. Saw them having sex.

Napakasakit maalala na ang mismong inosenteng bata pa ang makakahuli sa ama niya habang ginagawa ang immortal na kasalanan.

I sometimes question myself, kung kahit minsan ba ay nakokonsensiya si Sy sa mga pinanggagawa niya sa aming magina niya.

"I'm sorry,"

Gusto ko siyang patayin sa galit ng sambitin niya ang dalawang salita na 'yon. "I want to put you in jail.." my tears started to flow down from my eyes. I don't want to show him how weak i am right now, pero sadyang traidor ang emotion ko. My eyes shriek with angry and in pain. "But i can't.. because this time i don't want to be selfish. Na kahit sobrang sakit para sa'kin ang ginawa mo saming magina mo, gusto ko paring mayroong kalalakihang tatay ang magiging anak ninyu ni Sabrina."

He look at me in shock, parang nagulat pa siyang nalaman ko ang bagay na 'yon.

"Lou.." pagtawag niya sa pangalan ko. I close my eyes to stop my tears. Kung noon ay masarap pakinggan ang pagtawag niya sa pangalan ko, ngayon ay iba na.

"Grabe na ba ako katanga pagdating sa'yo, Sy?" i bit my lower lip to lower my sobs. "Kasi kahit ginago mo ako, kahit na sinaktan mo ako, kahit na namatay ang anak ko dahil sa'yo.. gusto parin kitang makitang masaya."

"I want you to be happy, Sy." that was the last words i said to him before flying to California.

Everyone expected me to be mad at him. At hindi ko 'yon edi-deny na hindi ako nagalit sa kanya. Dahil kahit lumipas ang araw, buwan at taon ay hindi parin napapawi ang galit ko. But the difference is that im more mad to myself than to him. Because i have a choice to let go of our shits, but i didn't. Pinagdamot ko ang kalayaan niyang maging masaya. I become selfish because i was scared of the thought of being alone.

My husband was the center of my world. Mas sinasamba ko pa nga siya kesa sa panginoon. I was so focus on loving and pleassuring my husband that i forgot that i have HIM all along. Except for Sofio and Hanz, God was the one who saved me.

God open my eyes for new hope. Hindi porket bumagsak ka sa lupa ay hindi ka na makakabangon muli. I flew to California to start a new beginnings. Only my most trusted friends and family members knew that i was pregnant again with Sy's child.

Sy gave me lots of trauma that i have to go for theraphy every week. After i healed from my biggest heartbreak. I learn to love myself more now.

Tama nga si Toni Gonzaga, "When you started loving yourself, you become whole again. You don't need the love of a man, for you to be whole. YOU make yourself whole."

---

"Are you sure you want this?" tanong sa akin ni Hanz ng sinabi ko sa kanya na susubukan ko ulit na bumalik sa pagtrabaho sa ospital. I know my decision is risky for my mental health, dahil talagang natrauma ako sa nangyari kay Harold dati. Pero hindi rin ako mapapakali na walang ginagawa sa bahay. I want to continue helping those mother's to bring their child in this world.

"Yeah.."

Hanz sighed loudly kaya naman ay napatingin ako sa kanya. "Why? May mali ba sa desisyon ko?" i ask.

"I mean, working in the hospital means seeing him again." nagaalangan niya pang saad.

Alam kong hanggang ngayon ay magkaibigan parin sila ni Sy. And im not againts there friendship naman. Matagal ko na itong pinagisipan simula ng bumalik kami ulit sa Pilipinas.

"My decision is final, Hanz. And for your information.. im already over him." i rolled my eyes when i heared him chuckle.

"Pero nung makita si Sy sa parking lot at ng malaman mno na sinundan ka pala niya eh super affective mo naman." asar na sabi niya sa akin. I throw him my nike airforce shoe causing him to laugh really really loud. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin dahil napipikon na ako sa kanya.

"Wala ka na sanang uuwian mamaya sa bahay ninyu."

"Ay sorry pero kampanti akong hindi niya ako iiwan, bleeeh."

"Ah talaga ba? Balita ko may crush yung bagong boss ni Ana sa kanya. Rinig ko last time, kung hindi lang daw taken si Ana, jojowain niya."

Napasimangot siya sa sinabi ko kaya ako naman ngayon ang napatawa. I'm sincerely happy for the both of them. They deserve each other. I'm rooting for them to be together.