Chapter 4 | Bear

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S A D I E

Tomorrow is the show.

And I'm kinda getting cold feet.

'Seriously?' Luna says over Facetime. 'Girl, You need help.'

I throw the pastel pink unicorn shirt on the 'No' pile. 'I officially have nothing to wear.' I huff.

'Sadie. You have a closet bigger than my house.' Luna groans. 'Jax, help.'

Jax mumbles from my bed something that sounds like 'leave me out of this'.

'Couldn't you have left for town tomorrow?' I mutter.

'No can do. My Nonna's sick.' She replies.

We stay in silence for a couple of minutes before Jaxon breaks the silence. He gives an exaggerated gasp and jumps off the bed, 'I GOT IT! I GOT IT!'

He sprints to my closet and yanks the door open. He ruffles through my clothes for a couple of minutes before pulling a tight black dress I forgot I owned. He threw it on my face before turning back to my closet and ruffling for another couple of minutes and pulling out my dark black and green plaid jacket. He throws that towards me and I catch it before it hits my face. And you would think he finished there, but no.
He sprints to my shoe closet and takes out my black boots with chains on the side. He throws them on my bed, missing me by a few inches.

'Jax! You were gonna kill me.' I yell at him, but he's still running around the room, grabbing chain necklaces, rings, bracelets, and the anklet that my brother gave me for my birthday.

'An anklet? Her boots are high.' Luna, who has been watching the whole show from the safety of my phone, reminds him.

He drops the anklet back on my table and looks at me, his grayish-blue eyes gleaming. 'And finally, the final touch.' He gives me a knowing wink, and I immediately know what he's thinking.

'Jax, no.' I whine.

'What?' Luna asks and Jax pulls out the red box buried deep down in my drawers.

'Ladies and Gentelman, I present to you, my birthday present to Sadie from last year, the legendary, the amazing-'

'Quit it.' Luna tells him.

He opens the red box revealing the thigh chain he gave me that I haven't wore yet. It has gold chains and a long strand with a crown charm.

'Jax, no.' I say.

'Say, you're wearing it, whether you like it or no.' He tells.

'You'll look hot.' Luna states. 'Hey, Nonna is calling me, I should go. I'll talk to you later.' She blows me a kiss ad hangs up.

Jax plops back onto the bed with a sigh. 'Having a good sense of fashion is tiring.'

I raise my eyebrows at him. 'You? Sense of fashion?' I gesture his sweatpants and my hoodie that is five sizes too small. 'Oh, by the way, that's mine.' I tell him.

He shoots me a dirty look.

My phone dings with a message.

Angelina: hey girlfriend im gonna come Pic u up at 7 tmr see ya!!

Me: pick*

Me: yeah okay.

Angelina: cant waitttttttt

Cringe.

***

'Are you going with Jaxon tomorrow?' Dad asks. 'Or should I take you?'

'Where is this concert anyway?' Mom asks.

'At the Hollywood bowl.' I reply, stuffing my face with my dad's famous apple pie.

'That's like 25 minutes away! Who's taking you?' Dad exlaims.

'Angelina.'

'Isn't that like.. your mortal enemy?' Mom asks.

'Well, we're friends now.'

'Okay, and can she drive?' God, my dad is so overprotective.

'No, Dad, her father's the mayor. She's probably gonna pick me up in a limo.' I reply.

'Right.'

We eat in silence before my dad breaks it.

'And how long is the limo?'

'Dad!'

'Sorry, sorry.'

'Is the singer Edward Lucas or something? The one Ezra likes?' Mom asks.

Here's the thing about my family. When they talk about Ezra, the don't use the past tense. As if he's still here with us. Which he's not. It honestly gets on to my nerves.
More like on my emotions.

'Lucas Edwards.' I correct her. 'And yes, the one Ezra liked.' I put emphasis on the word liked.

My parents both look at me with betrayed expressions on their faces. My mom's eyes starting tearing up.
I push my chair and get up. 'I'm full. Thanks for dinner, Dad.' I put my plate in the sink and go upstairs. I stand in front of Ezra's room. I haven't gone inside since he died.

'Hey, big bro.' I sit in front of his room and talk to the door. I do this alot. 'I'm going to Lucas's show tomorrow. I- I wish you were here.'

All the memories of my brother sneak out of my eyes, and roll down my cheeks.

'Say-Say! I'm the marshmallow monster and I'm coming to find you!!'

'You killed me!!' Ezra tickles me. 'You were supposed to kill him.'
'I hate video games!!'

'Add more chocolate chips!!' I chant.
'Say, we put two whole bags.' He says. 'That's a lot for one batch of cookies.'

'Go faster! Faster!' I yell from on his back
'Sades, Im old.'
'No, you're-'
I scream as he sprints around our backyard. 'Slower! Slower!!'

I wipe my now tear-stained cheeks. 'I'm sorry, it's my fault. I wanted ice cream.' I take a deep breath. 'I killed you, Ezra, I was the one who was supposed to die.'

'Sadie?' I turn around to see Ezra, standing in the exact same clothes he had on when he died.

I jump up. 'You're not real.' I state the obvious.

'I'm not.' He agrees. 'Doesn't mean what I have to say isn't important.'

'I miss you.' I say.

'You miss who?' My dad asks from behind me. I turn to look at Ezra but he's gone.

'I.. um- I was seeing things. Imagining. Don't worry about it.' I tell him. 'I'm gonna.. uh- go to bed. Goodnight.'

Once I'm in the safety of my room, I go under the covers and hug Bear, my worn out panda teddy, and think about all the wrong things that happened in my life.

***
Whatcha think?
Hope you liked it.
Ellie

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