REALITY?!

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She doesn't know........ 

I guess that's good, I don't have to worry about my identity. 

But why does it hurt for me? 

I've never felt this way before. 

Is this what they call rejection? 

Why am I faltering? 

You don't know her, Donatello. Man up.

Keep it all in, don't let it go. 

I didn't even expect myself to feel this way because of a stranger. Are we still strangers? We are, aren't we? I never got to know her more. That was my intention when I stole April's chats, but now......

I'm not too sure..... 

Maybe I could just leave this all behind, forgetting I ever tried. Maybe start building that 12 screen setup, just for the fun. 

And I want it to take as long as possible, to keep distracting me from this world I'm trying to create. It will never work, it has never worked. 

But she exists because it did, but I am too afraid of the odds. If it's not 100 percent, then it's a failure. I hated feeling like this.

This feeling that somehow is still lingering in my chest. Like I'm being emptied from the inside, like I'm being squished for whatever fluids that I have left. Like I'm far weaker than I already am. 

This feeling of yearning for something that I couldn't have. Why? 

When did this feeling come to me? 

Why does it affect me as much and it does now? 

What makes her so special to me? 

I'm crying....... 

Why am I crying? 

I've never cried for someone before. 

Why now? 

What is happening to me........?

The tear stream slowly grows to a river flowing from my eyes. Everything is turning to a blur, and my eyelids grow heavy. When was the last time I slept? 

.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.•°•.

I feel odd. Like something is trying to talk to me. But whenever I looked around there was nobody. Nothing at all. But this feeling is creeping behind me like a predator taunting its prey. I don't feel okay. 

But I can't do anything about it now, I have a presentation to work on. And I'm gonna be the presenter. It was supposed to be a group project, but I got a group with the douchebags at class. They insisted that I should do it because I'm smart, but in reality, they are simply too lazy to do work. 

April got in another group and she's out doing it at her new friend's house. Classic April, making new friends no matter the condition. Wish I could be like that, but I am not a social person. 

If I'm ever lonely, I imaginate. I imagine characters, friends, and stories alone when I'm bored. And If I were a god, then there would be three planets to house my world. I'm the creative aspect in my family, and thanks to all the stories that mom would tell, I can make great stories myself. 

Sometimes, I wish I could live in those worlds. Where no one hates each other, where there is peace between both yokais and humans, just like my family. 

I have a lot of siblings who work at the Hidden City, but they would never want me to visit. They're afraid that I would be overwhelmed by their mystic magic, which is a valid opinion. My body contains the same mystic energy that they have but far weaker. I've never had the chance to let my abilities bloom, because I want to be normal. I wanna fit in with the people who look like me, who act like me. But at the same time I can't help but wonder what life is like being a yokai. 

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