Love Above all Else

15. Just Be Still

"If we claim to love God, but don't love each other our love is nothing and meaningless." -David Alley

The church we go to in town is across the street from another church by a different name. What the difference is, I could not even begin to tell you. What I do know is that Marco goes to the other church. I never go to church on Wednesdays, so I do not know what to look forward to, except the idea of seeing Marco.

And I am not disappointed. As soon as I begin to pull into the parking lot, I see a car coming across the highway from the other direction. And whose car does it happen to be? Marco's car. That's whose. I can tell he sees me too, by the way, his car jerks to a stop on the other side of the road.

The road is set up like a typical highway with two sets of two roads going in opposite directions, separated by a medium of grass. Along these roads are intersections where you can turn into the churches. This is where I stopped to see Marco. I drive by first and go as slow as I can without causing problems and find myself staring at him as I pull past. He looks like shit. I know I shouldn't say that being a Christian and all, but it is true. With dark circles and a pale face, he looks drained.

I hurry up and park in our usual parking spot before running inside, just barely making it on time. Out of breath from running, I take a seat near the back and join the group prayer.

I begin to pray a silent prayer for myself.

"God. I need you more than ever. I am struggling with desperation and regret. You already know the situation with Marco but I need to talk to you about that. Please release whatever demon is over our friendship right now God. I care about him too deeply to lose him right now. I hope I have not hurt him. Let us resolve our problems if that is what you wish. If it is not, please give me a sign. I am so sorry God for letting you down here lately. Forgive me, God."

"Amen, " we all say in unison.

Sometimes I do that. I will think to myself a prayer for God during group prayer, just as a little extra personal conversation. I can still hear everything they are saying, and I don't interrupt them.

After joining up front with the rest of the group after prayer is over, I try to pay attention to the word given today.

As I listen, I realize today's word is exactly what I need. I stare at the pastor in awe as he riddles out hints about my situation. I know he has no idea, but it is like he knows what is going on. It is all about how as today's people, we need to set the right example and reach out to people. Don't hold grudges. Don't be afraid of talking to people first as Christians. It is all related to my situation.

~~~

I am getting ready for school this morning, and all I can think about is how I need to reach out to Marco. I get myself together and run to my car, wanting to get to school early. Maybe I can catch him before school officially starts.

I speed, or at least for me it is speeding, to school and make it there ten minutes early. Wow. I really got up late this morning. I search up and down the parking lot for his car to no prevail. His car isn't here but maybe someone else dropped him off. He gets here early sometimes, so I should see him. I walk into the building and search for Marco. After five minutes of looking, Marco is nowhere to be found, but instead, I find Nate.

"Have you seen Marco anywhere?" I ask him while I pant.

I get out of breath too easily and it is embarrassing. Stupid heart condition.

He looks at me like I'm crazy. Maybe I am. "No? Why?"

"I need to talk to him."

"Are you sure Isabelle?" He asks.