Love Above all Else

19. Agree To Agree

"The first step towards change is awareness. The second step is acceptance." -Nathaniel Branden

"Are you going to eat?" Marcos words leave a bad feeling in my gut with his concern for my eating habits. "I am worried Belle. You don't eat enough."

He has never brought up my eating. We hardly talk about food. The only time I really have been eating is at dinner, and even then I will typically throw it up, but he doesn't need to worry about that. I am eating more often. I feel more comfortable in my body here lately.

We walk through the halls, and everyone stares.

"Yeah I'm fine. I brought a granola bar."

"That's more than I ever see you eat at school. I'm proud." He grabs my hand as we walk into the threshold of the school cafeteria.

Wondering eyes follow us everywhere we go. No one expected us to be holding hands. Not even I did. We get over to our table and I sit down with Marco and Nate beside me as always.

"Holy guacamole. The new power couple in the flesh. How surprising." I look over at Marco and ponder on  Nate's words.

Is that what people are calling us? The words feel unnatural to our situation. It took us forever to accept one another fully and trust in the relationship. Word like that do not show the inside on our unwillingness to come together in the beginning. But that is behind us. We are working on communication and improving our relationship. That is what matters most.

"Nate chill out with that," Marco defends us.

Nate rolls his eyes in frustration. I never thought of how hoard this might be for him. To see me with someone he struggles to get along with. I hope we are still okay. I never meant to hurt him, but I guess we don't talk as much anymore.

Riley decides to speak up. "Anyways. So, Belle. How are you taking everything? All this attention?"

"It's hard man. I don't know how to take it all. I don't feel like I deserve it all. All this attention is on me only because I am hanging around Marco more."

"Yeah but it's not all bad," she bargains.

"Maybe. But it is overwhelming."

I pull out the granola bar from my bag below, and I begin to slowly unwrap it. All eyes at the table are on me. Great, now them too.

"What?"

They all blink away their confusion. Chevy is the first one to speak up for once.

"I'm proud of you Belle."

Why is everyone making a big deal about it? I give Chevy a small smile and look down at my small bit of food. Now I don't want the granola bar at all. I continue to bite into it despite my sudden urge not to, and the honey melts in my mouth. Amazing. I missed these.

My body was so used to the emptiness around this hour at school. My constant aching bones and grumbling stomach now comes to an end as Riley tries to keep the conversation light.

"So, Marco. You are the only senior at this table. How does that feel?"

"Pretty cool, actually."

"So where did you decide to apply for college?"

Her attempt at small talk is killing me now.

"Uhm I am deciding between Alabama and Ohio State. It is a hard choice."