Illicit [Harry Styles]

Chapter 14

"Harry, please stop shouting! We can talk about this if you just calm down!" I try to reason with him, ironically I'm almost shouting as loud as he is at this point. I don't know what was running through my mind when I said we could talk about it, what was there to talk about? I guess I just wanted him to stop being so mad.

"I don't want to talk about anything with you!"

"Okay, okay! We won't talk but please calm down - you're scaring me!" I cry frantically. I haven't known Harry long enough to know what his temper is like; I don't know how dangerous he is or how far he'll go when he's this angry.

I don't understand why he's so mad, but he is. He's furious. He spins away from me and shouts something as his fist is directed at his dresser. As his knuckles come into contact with the wood I whimper, a strange sound that's somewhere between a cry and a scream comes out of my mouth and I flinch, cupping my hands over my face.

Suddenly the room goes deadly silent again and I keep my face covered. Only a few seconds go by but it feels like hours, hours of silence, and I don't know what he's doing or what he's going to do.

"Jessica? Jess?" Harry's voice is quiet now, he sounds much different than he did only minutes ago when he was yelling and acting out. His voice almost trembles and he sounds... worried? "Jess, are you- Jess? I'm sorry. Don't be scared."

I hear him approaching me both hesitantly and quickly all at once and I flinch again when he places his hand on my back from beside me. The bed dips down as he sits next to me and his other hand reaches out to carefully take my hands away from my face. Sheepishly, I look at him and he looks upset as he tries to comfort me. I don't understand what's going on; first he lashes out because of me and then he's giving me puppy-dog eyes and trying to soothe me?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just- I don't know what came over me, Jess, I was a díck and I'm really sorry. Are you... Are you okay?" He keeps apologising in this soft tone and holds my hands in his. I don't know how to react or what's even going on right now but I nod in response.

"I should leave," I suggest quietly, still nodding.

"You don't have to. I'm calm now, I swear." I look him in the eyes and I guess he sees the exhaustion on my face because he says with a sigh, "Maybe you're right. How are you getting home?"

"I was... we were just gonna walk, I think."

"No you wont. How many times do I have to tell you not to walk around at night? You don't want a repeat of before, do you?"

"How else am I going to get home? We walked here." On one hand I like that he's concerned about me, but on the other it annoys me that he thinks he has the authority to tell me what I can and can't do.

"If you can't find a ride you can stay here."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea..."

"I'm not letting you walk home so it's the only other option. Go and find your friend, and tell her that if you don't have anyone that can pick you up then you're both staying here for the night."

I scoff at the way he's being demanding, but in all honesty I don't really want to walk anyway. I get up from the bed and leave Harry's room, taking to the stairs to look for Mckenzie. It doesn't take much searching, though, because as soon as I set foot on the ground floor I see her. She's still sitting on the sofa with Louis, Zayn and a few other people that I don't recognise. She seems to be having the time of her life; I watch as the group of them down a shot and they all cheer and laugh afterwards.

I stalk up to her and shake her shoulder, whereupon she looks up and smiles when she sees me. "Jess! Do you want a shot?"

"Uhh... no, thank you. Listen, Mckenzie, is there anyone that can pick us up?"