Illicit [Harry Styles]

Chapter 80

"NO!" 

The tap of the hammer brought my world crashing down.

I didn't even care that all eyes were on me as I cried out, leaping out of my seat towards the railing of the balcony, flailing arms grabbing at me and trying to hold me back as I thrashed out. A scratchy, devastated wail leaving my throat, tears flooding faster and harder than ever before. My heart broke in an instant.

"Jess," my mum awkwardly attempted to hush me urgently, clearly embarrassed by my outburst.

Muttering throughout the court room prompted the judge to speak up; "Order. Order!"

My blurry eyes met Harry's, whose were full of panic and sorrow. He didn't say a word, he didn't even blink. He was frozen, gaze boring into mine desperately as chaos was erupting around him. I was reaching out for him even though he was twenty feet away but he wasn't reacting at all. It was like he wasn't surprised - he knew it was coming, and it was totally out of his power. This was his fate. This was our fate - decided by complete strangers.

"Harry!" I screamed, my heart racing and my stomach in knots as security approached him and started to put him in handcuffs.

"Court dismissed," Judge Alexander announced. "Sentencing will be tomorrow at nine AM."

I was dragged against my will out of the court room once Harry and the officials had left, where I fell into Louise's arms. She was visibly upset but was keeping it bottled up and remained composed on the outside. Ian was frustrated and stormed off with his head in his hands. 

Louise held me while I sobbed, and my mum approached feebly and rubbed my back. We all knew that life as we knew it was about to change drastically, and I couldn't think about anything else. It hurt so much. He was taken from me so soon, and I had no idea how I was supposed to cope. He could be gone for years for all I knew; years that I'd be without him, just getting by, not living, surviving. I felt so powerless.

"Come on, Jess, let's get out of here." Harry's mum squeezed me sympathetically.

We got to the bottom of the stairs and Ian was racing towards us. "There's a load of paps out there."

"Just what we need," My mum scoffed.

We prepared ourselves to face the outside world. The beady, judging eyes of the general public - the reporters who flock outside the courts practically frothing at the mouth at the mere idea of a tragic story like ours. 

Harry's dad went first, holding his wife's hand, barging past all the sad men and their giant cameras. My mum cradled me under her arm and shielded herself and my red, puffy face from view of the media with her handbag. Niall tagged along behind to put a barrier between our family and the stragglers that chased after us all the way to the car, shouting at them to get out of our faces. It was so overwhelming that I cried even harder at the realisation that this was my life as I shuffled along as quickly as I could. We piled into the cars and my mum roared away from the carpark quickly and threateningly as the guys jumped back and shouted after us, snapping pictures. 

I could just see Niall eyeing me cautiously out the corner of my teary eye for a good few minutes in silence, before he sheepishly spoke up. "Jess..."

"If you're going to say 'I told you so', I don't want to hear it."

"Of course I'm not," he argued, sounding almost hurt by my accusation, "Jess, as much as I didn't care for Harry and hate all the trouble he got you into, I know how much he meant to you. And you to him."

"What am I going to do!?" I whimpered, and he took me in his arms immediately as I broke down again.

"You're going to be strong," my mum interjected from the front seat. "We're all going to help you get through this, whether you want to get on with your life until you can be together or move on-"