Illicit [Harry Styles]

Chapter 45

I headed for the front door, a gust of freezing cold air hitting me when I opened the front door and instantly goosebumps rose on my arms. At first glance, there was no sign of Harry. There was no sign of anyone, in fact. The street was eerily dark and silent apart from the music from the house in the background.

I stepped out onto the driveway and trudged down to the pavement, standing there and looking up and down the road. From what I could see, unless he was long gone or out of sight, Harry wasn't out here. But why would Zayn lie? He had to be, Harry had to be out here. I strolled a little way down the road, calling out his name a couple of times — the sound echoed creepily and the music was getting quieter and quieter the further I went up the road.

For some odd reason, I decided just to sit down on the curb. I plonked down on the icy tarmac and just breathed the air in and out of my lungs, quite liking the feeling of the sharp cold in my airways. It was nice being outside in the quiet, the little amount of alcohol in my bloodstream made me feel numb to how scary I would normally find a dark, quiet road on my own. I peered around, my pupils feeling enormous to allow me some vision. It was oddly peaceful.

Suddenly I heard commotion behind me, the music getting louder as I assumed the door had been opened. Footsteps were quick and heavy against the gravel.

"Jess?" Harry's overly loud voice boomed through the open space before he came into view. He was frantically speed-walking like he was panicked as he stepped out into the road, turning his head in a hurry to look around. "Jess? Jess!" he continued to shout almost angrily.

"Harry? What is it? I'm over here," I called back much more quietly and calmly. His eyes fell upon me and he started running towards where I was sitting.

"Oh my god. What the fuçk are you doing out here? Are you okay?" he was still shouting and his words came out rushed and bit jumbled together as he hurriedly crouched down in front of me and held my face in his warm hands. He looked me in the eyes and even though the path was only lit up by dim streetlights, I could see how bloodshot the whites of his glassy eyeballs were. They were lazily staring at me, his eyelids drooping slightly, but they still held a sense of worry and urgency.

"Harry, shhh, keep your voice down. What's the matter?" I attempted to calm him down, feelings his hands trembling ever so slightly against my cheeks.

"Why the fuçk are you out here, Jess? You know I hate it when you're out late on your own, why would you come out here by yourself without telling me?" What he was saying told me he was telling me off, but his voice was now weirdly soft like I was the one who was intoxicated and needed to be spoken to gently rather than him.

"I was looking for you and I got told you were out here. When I realised you weren't I just decided to take a breather. I'm fine, see? It's not like I went running off into town!" I was speaking to him like he was a child, completely thrown off by this weird state he was suddenly in.

"Who? Who told you that?"

Because of this weird mood that'd come over him and how odd he was acting, I got the impression it might not be a good idea to tell him. "Just... a group of guys," I shrugged.

"Jess!" he barked, his hands falling to my shoulders and shaking them, he knew I was lying and he was getting really upset about it. "Tell me who told you that!"

"Zayn," I spat out in fright, "Zayn said he thought he saw you come out here." Harry muttered something indecipherable through gritted teeth to himself, and now I was the one beginning to panic. What the hell was going on? He went to stand up and I grabbed his wrists, "Harry, please don't. Tell me what's going on, talk to me," I urged.