High Tide // JJ Maybank

Chapter 22

"We're here to see John B Routledge." JJ informs the man standing in front of us.

"No music, and get rid of the toothpick."

"I can't hear what you're saying, man, all right?" JJ points at the headphones. "These things are on full blast. That's what I said. I'm here to see John B Routledge."

The man does a pulling motion away from his ears, gesturing for JJ to pull off the headphones. The away from his mouth for the toothpick.

"Wait. Music?"

The man nods.

"Ohhh." JJ pulls off the headphones, putting them around his neck. "I mean, I thought this was a free country and all, but, uh, I guess you don't like freedom very much, now do you, Cupcake?"

The man grabs JJ's shoulders, pushing him up against the wall.

"Okay, come on. Let go of him." I speak up.

Another deputy rounds the corner, Plumb. "Uh, not worth it."

JJ looks over at her with a wide smile on his face. "Good to see you, Plumb." He holds up the toothpick he'd had in his mouth. "Nice to have something in your mouth. You know?"

"Yeah. Take off your hat and empty your pockets. You too, Katarina."

"I'm wearing a dress." I state. "I don't have pockets."

"Don't be a smart ass." Plumb tells me.

The door next to us buzzes before opening. Plumb leads us inside. JJ and I walk into a room, John B sat at a table in the center. A small gasp escapes my lips when I see him. He looks miserable.

We sit in front of him. We all look at each other before laughs expel from all of us.

"I thought it was gonna be me." JJ says.

"Who didn't?" I agree with a light laugh.

"It was me." John B states, a small smile on his lips. "Welcome to my humble abode."

"Yeah, when you said you had a new apartment, I had no idea."

"Yeah, it's uh..."

"It's cozy!"

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Who doesn't love a good aluminum vibe." I say sarcastically.

"Yeah. I like to go for the cold, dark..."

"Alone kind of theme." JJ finishes.

"... Depressing.."

"Look, I would love to sit and chit-chat, but I'm on the clock. And I'm here for one reason only, okay? Operation liberation, baby."

"Oh boy, here we go."

"I know, I know. Hear me out, though. Here me out. Step one, piss off the cops so badly they don't see what's coming." JJ waves at the cops that walks by the window. "Check. Step two, at exactly 11 p.m. this evening, you're going to have an attack of acute appendicitis."

I furrow my brows in confusion. I had no idea what he was going for, but so far his planned did not seem perfect. At least he had one though.

John B rolls his eyes. "Do you even know what appendicitis is?"

"Yeah. Remember eighth grade? Algebra final?"

"Jesus Christ." John B stresses.

"Worked like a charm, okay? Now to sell it, you gotta actually look sick, though, okay? You got some of that ghost face sunblock in there?"

"JJ, I'm in jail. I have a.. a... block of soap. That's it."

"Right.." JJ pauses. "Is it white?"

"Yes?" John B questions.

"Perfect. That'll work. Take some of that. Rub it into your face well, okay? You don't want that shit rubbing off when they're checking your vitals. After that, run your hands under cold water for five minutes. After that, you're ready. Showtime, baby! Stumble out and collapse, okay? Once you're down on the ground squealing, they'll rush you to the infirmary. There, you just gotta convince the nurse that sucker's about to burst. Okay? So she's gonna take her hand, and she's gonna put it right there." JJ demonstrates on his own body. "When she does that, she pushes down, don't do anything. Just lay there. It's when she takes her hand off that you let it rip, man. Scream like your life depends on it, like the lobster hot the pot, like you're passing a kidney stone the size of a bowling ball."

"Okay, okay. I get it. I get it." John B snaps, cutting off the blond. He sighs, looking around the room. "Then what?"

"They're gonna eject you to the hospital. Remember Cousin Ricky?

John B squints confused. "Cousin Ricky, the weed dealer?"

"He's an EMT."

"He sold us out first dime bag."

"So? You can do both. Big economy, bro."

"Jesus." John B sighs heavily.

"Okay, but step three is extraction."

"This is the dumbest freaking idea you've ever had." John B admits.

"Yeah, you're probably right, but you know what's even more dumb? You thinking you got any other way out of this."

"JJ, this place is a fortress. What, you think you'll just stroll in here? They've got barbed wire, cinder blocks, guards on every corner."

"Alright, John B." I say stopping him. "He's the only one that has come up with a plan. Everyone else didn't even try. You knew he wouldn't give up on you, so give him a chance to help you."

"Look, you're not the detail guy, okay? Leave it to the professionals."

"Hey!" Plumb calls from the door, interrupting. "Times up."

"Yes ma'am." JJ states, looking back at John B. "You gotta trust me on this one. Nothing to lose now. Eleven p.m."