Pediophobia

Chapter Eighteen: Funny Bunny Business

The door opened with a sickening, metallic creak. I started to wonder what sick bastard designed these toys, even though I knew who decided to profit off of them. I just wanted to talk to them (I just want to talk to them. I just want to punch them in the nose). I wander inside to see a deserted playground area. It kind of reminded me of this park my grandma had taken me to back when she rented a campsite at Acorn Acres. I gazed up and I  wished I hadn't.

There. Were. Cobwebs. Everywhere. That was when I figured out why I called Mommy Long Legs "Spider Lady": It was because she was so spiderlike that it didn't cross my mind that she was a spider. I shuddered in horror, realizing that a spider held me as a baby. I hate spiders to the point where I have arachnophobia. I started realizing that maybe I should have stayed in bed instead of disobeying Sonic that one night.

So I kept snooping around around, finding many cardboard cut outs everywhere I turned. I finally came up to the train to find three levers. So I pulled on one out of sheer curiosity (hey, you'd do the same thing in my position). I hear a woman's voice through a PA system. "Welcome to the Game Station! My name is Stella." I flinched, then I remembered hearing Stella before. It was in the Make a Friend room right before Huggy dropped a truth bomb on me (and then tried to eat my face).

I grumbled, "Shut the fuck up. That's becoming my catchphrase."

Then I hear the sound of lightbulbs popping to life. I turn to my right to see a set of stairs. The lights flickered over a sign. It read, Musical Memory. I swallowed, dreading what kind of fucked up shit is hiding behind the door. I peeked inside to see a cardboard cut out blocked by yet another metallic door. I shapeshifted into my Huggy form and somehow managed to squeeze my oversized, furry ass through that damn crack. I stopped for a minute to catch my breath, then I froze. I glanced at my hand and realized, Dammit. I need to shift back before Spider Lady figures out that I am not human. So I shifted back into my human form, wincing as I did so. It took two minutes of pure agony to hide the last part of the transformation from whatever could be lurking within the walls.

Then I decided to check out the bunny cut out, just for shits and giggles. I pressed the big, red button to hear this: "I know when your birthday is~! June twenty eighth! Ho ho ho ho!" (Get the big red button thing? It's because of a certain version of Dad with bandages... eh, never mind).

I replied saucily, "You got the month right, but the date is dead wrong. That honor belongs to fucking Markiplier." Then I paused for a second and added, "It's the same day as Tom Holland and Marilyn Monroe." Then I face palmed myself. I felt really stupid for talking to a cardboard cutout of a bunny in a birthday hat and overalls.

So I enter. I find myself in the center of some wide circle. I glance towards an observation window to see a figure. I squinted, realizing that it was only Spider Lady herself: Mommy Long Legs. Something tells me that she regards me as food instead of a playmate. It might be the unhinged way she spoke to me, or it could be something else. Either way, she definitely got my "Oh Shit" senses tingling like crazy.

Spider Lady began to say, "Mommy has not seen the game station running in years! It was-!" She interrupted herself. I did my is-there-a-problem pose, and she tsked at me. "Mommy notices that you forgot your grab pack!" She exclaimed, feigning shock. "Don't worry. Mommy's good with helping! Look up."

I glanced up to see a bunny with a birthday hat holding something plastic between his cymbals. The bunny opened his mouth, showing buck teeth and a shark mouth. He called out, sounding playful, "Catch, birthday girl!" Then he dropped the thing. Naturally I caught it. It was a bit heavy, but it wasn't anything I can't handle. My backpack is a bit heavier than this cumbersome thing. I looked at the thing, noticing that it had two hands. One was red while the other was blue.

I turned to them both and asked, "What's wrong with my hands?" I faked sounding hurt and offended.

"Can you stretch them?" Bunzo called from above.

"I don't know! I got this thing where my body does strange stuff. Sometimes I become tall and furry. I'm going by a hunch." I replied.

"Mommy doesn't like liars." Spider Lady interjected, adding a small growl to her voice.

"I'll show you what I mean later." I called back. "No funny business."

"The only funny business in here is Bron. His sense of humor vanished the same day those workers vanished: the same day that Danny Black left!" Bunzo yelled from above.

"ENOUGH." I hear Spider Lady yell. "Now, let's get started."

I realized exactly what I was playing: Simon says. Something told me that I better be really fucking good at it or else I would risk death. It could be the way "Orange" sounded like "Organs"... or it could have been the way that Bunzo was clanging his cymbals together like large, bronze clackers. I made it to the end... and that was when shit hit the fan. The announcer was going too fast, and the whole place felt like it was moving at Mach 8. I couldn't use my super speed because I knew that it would definitely tip off Mommy Long Legs that I am not human. I finally see the reset button circling me in a mocking way. I hit it with my grab pack thingy as hard as I could.

I hear machinery breaking, and Spider Lady sighed, "It broke. Mommy thought the game would last longer. But a deal is a deal. My first wish is to have a Christmas feast." I stared at Spider Lady with surprise. I never thought about the last time she ate. Could it be in 2010? 1999? I honestly don't know.

I replied as that awful, familiar feeling of being cooked alive started creeping into me, "Your wish is my command." I snapped my fingers and I could smell the food coming from the game station. "There is enough for every mascot and toy."

"You really are sweet. Just like your Mommy. Wait a minute, your round face kind of reminded me of Brenda!" She squealed, not quite realizing that I knew who she was referring to. "Bunzo, you are in the clear... for now." I had a feeling that the next time Bunzo fails at killing someone, it's going to be his last attempt ever.

I didn't like that hint at all. I turned to leave, only for the catapult to break. "ACK!" I yelped. Then I thought of something. I wonder. I pictured myself stretching up to the door to the train station, my legs acting like rubber bands. My arm became long, bright pink, and tipped with a pink glove with blue cuffs. It also became super stretchy like elastic. I climbed up and decided to sneak a peek at Bunzo. He was gawking at me, his jaw hanging open. "Mommy... I thought that you left for the game station."

I chuckled. "I told you my body does weird stuff." Then I winked at Bunzo, adding, "The last laugh's going to be on me because nobody is ever going to believe you." I left through the vent just to add insult to injury.

I hear Bunzo yell, "WHAT NEXT!? YOU SHAPESHIFT INTO ME!?"

I called back, "Don't tempt me with your funny business." Then I crawled into the vent, hearing Bunzo complain about how unfair it was that there was a new shape shifting toy amongst them.