To Dazzling Darkness - Bucky Barnes x OC

Chapter Five - Toxic Mind

Chapter Warnings - child abuse, trauma, dealing with trauma, PTSD, anxiety, scars, sexual thoughts.

''Dad, no! please no'' Eleven year old Fallon screamed as she was desperately trying to put her tiny hands on anything not slippery, before she could, her head was submerged in freezing cold water in her fathers bath. Her screams are no longer audible as only huge bubbles coming out of her lungs. She starts choking and the freezing cold water travels down her lungs. It's so cold it feels like it's burning. No matter how hard she tried to lift her head out, her fathers grip on then brown hair didn't ease, keeping her submerged.

Her father yanked her out just before everything started to go blank. ''You think you can disrespect me like that?! '' He shouted in her face, spitting a few times. Alcohol stench strong from his mouth. ''You disgusting waste of space!''

Fallon coughs out water, her head feels like it's going to split in two, just as her vision clears he goes to dunk her head into water again. ''Dad, dad! No, please!'' She screams again as her face makes contact with ridiculously cold water in the bath. What feels like eternity she screams into the water, her lungs filling to the point where she believes she will drown.

This is it.

He yanks her out of the water by her hair and practically throws her into the badly done shower, her body colliding to the wall with a thud. Her convulsing body lying limp on the tiles. He turns the water as cold as it will go and lets it pour over her. Her skin turns so cold that the shower water feels like tiny little knives cutting her open over and over again. He kicks her back with his boot making water come out from her throat as she starts coughing, finally being able to breathe. ''Now lay here and think about how much of a disappointment you are'' His voice was full of venom.

Over...

And over..

And over again..

''You okay?'' James' soft voice pulled her out of the spiralling thoughts.

He watched her with his brows slightly furrowed. She is standing in her little black silk gown, her small bruised hands gripping a towel so hard that the knuckles on her hands are going white.

The guilt of what he did in the warehouse finds a home in the pit of his stomach. At that moment he didn't even consider how the attack would have affected her mentally. He got lost in lust for that moment, but then so did she.

She wanted him at that moment in time. Butterflies scattering in his stomach from the thought.

''What are you doing here?'' She asked, trying to sound harsh but her voice fell short of it. Slightly glancing at him over her shoulder. Her face pale, the bruises coming through and turning blue in places. Fallon's eyes were a dull colour of grey, they were hardened as if they have seen too much for their lifetime. She always looked full of life, but not right now.

''Like I said I will come back and check in on you girls''

''We don't need checking in'' Fallon said as she sighed and looked to resume her staring match with the shower.

She feels defeated, those memories haven't haunted her for many years now, but the interrogation tactic they used on her brought all of them flooding back. Here she is terrified to step into the shower because of her childhood ghosts.

Pathetic.

''Your body language says otherwise'' James' voice is soft, he can tell that Fallon is in a fragile state. He stepped forward, to close the gap between them, gently placing his hand on her shoulder. Fallon's little frame flinches, but doesn't pull away. He soothes her shoulder through the slippery fabric of her gown and reached around her for the towel that is being suffocated by her grasp. She looked down at his massive hand around her tiny one and suddenly releases the towel, she didn't even realise she was gripping it so hard. James grabbed the towel before it hit the floor, moved to place it on the towel rail. She flexed her hands as they stung from the sudden release of pressure.