A Little Ghost Help

~31~

Hello all! It's one day before a full month so let's say I totally did not forget about this! I've been running around like a headless chicken for the last month, I swear. School also just started and hopefully that won't cause any delays. I'm also in the school musical and other clubs and 3 jobs so like... if I suddenly disappear, it means I'm over working myself, not that I have died. Unless I am currently a ghost. But who knows. Anywayyyy... Enjoy the chapter!

Warning: Remus. Lack of sensitivity. You know. Remus. Plotting a robbery. Stealing a door. Remus. Just... just Remus. Oh and gay. And Remus.

Remus
Bonnie put down the diary. “Oooooo murdered boy murdered boy murdered boy murdered boy” I sang, smiling. “I love learning about murdered boys. I also think he totally should have screwed Fred.” She rolled her eyes, smiling.

“Of course you do.”

“Oh come on, you could totally tell this Janus kid was digging him. He taught him how to read and they should have made out in that tree. Aw man! I wish they made out and then he described it in the diary!” I complained. 

“You are odd.”

“No wayyyyy. I never would have guessed.”

“I know, it’s shocking. But somehow you will accept this.” She pat my head that was still lodged in the door. I paused, a shadow catching my eyes.

“Who’s that?” I motioned with my head. Bonnie turned, looking at the small figure curled up in the corner. She shrugged and walked over. The person had a bowler hat on and a dramatic black shawl thing. I began to attempting to yank my head out of the door but quickly gave up. 

“Are you okay…?” Bonnie hesitantly asked, voice growing higher at the end of the question. The figure didn’t respond. She looked back at me and shrugged before turning back to the figure, “Uh… I’m Bronwen. And you are?” She tried again. They still didn’t reply. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

“I’M THE STRIPPER REMUS AND I LIKE WEARING DOORS, YOUR TURN.” The tiny child jumped and looked up. I met eyes with a half snake face yellow eyed gremlin. Oh. I like this one. I’m adopting them. “WHAT ARE YOUR PRONOUNS SAD SNAKE CHILD?”

They looked down at their hands, an expression of shock crossed their face. They quickly schooled their features. “They/them.” 

I cackled, “A NON BINARY GREMLIN, I LOVE ALL OF YOU. YOU ARE MY CHILD NOW.”

Bonnie looked at me, “No faiiiiiiir,” She wined, “I wanted to be the mother.”

“Fine we’re married. A poly relationship between you, orange, and me with snake child as our child.”

“I supposseeeeee” she dragged out.

“There is no pleasing you, is there?”

“Of course there is! But not from you, no.” She winked.

The child rolled their eyes and stood up. “You’re so smol. How old are you.” They looked me with a flat expression.

“173,” I laughed. 

“And I’m 326. Wanna hang out with us? We could be a trio of chaos!” They squinted.

“Why would I want to do that?”

“What else do you have planned?” They were silent. “Just what I thought. Let’s go!” I tried to pull myself out of the door again. Bonnie sighed and walked back over. “Wait! I have a plan!” I took the steak knife out of my pocket and handed it to Bonnie. “Cut off the hinges!”