Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Break

Charlie had rarely looked forward to the beginning of a new term as much as he did this one, and it was all because of one person: Ben Hope. Their romance had built over the course of the fall, and as the holidays dragged on, all Charlie could think of was going back to school and seeing Ben again.

Today, he had Ben's texts in his phone, asking to meet up, saying he couldn't wait to see him, and he had never felt so confident or excited to be walking this familiar dull corridor. It was hard to keep the smile off his face as he threaded through all the other boys walking to their forms. Most mornings, he felt awkward here, wondering if they were staring at him, trying to avoid certain people who had made his life difficult last year, but this morning he hardly noticed them.

Walking through the darkened library, Charlie could feel his heart beating faster. Finally, he reached the back of the room, turning the corner around the bookshelves, smiling broadly ... and there was no one there.

As he stood there, hesitantly calling Ben's name, his phone pinged. Ben. Asking if they could meet up at break instead.

Charlie swallowed his disappointment. Of course break would be fine. He could look forward to seeing Ben all morning now, making it all the better when they were finally together.

The principal's voice came over the loudspeaker, reminding the students that their forms had been shuffled up for the new term. Charlie looked at his hand, where his new form room had been written so he couldn't forget, and left the library. Wouldn't do to be late to form for no reason.

He checked in with the teacher at the desk. They exchanged pleasantries, and the teacher pointed him in the direction of his assigned seat. "You're over there, next to Nicholas Nelson. He's in year 11, so only one year older than you. One of the rugby boys, too, I think. I'm sure you'll get along swimmingly. Or you can just sit in silence for the rest of the year. It really doesn't affect me in any way whatsoever."

Charlie vaguely remembered hearing about Nick Nelson. He wasn't just one of the rugby boys, if Charlie remembered correctly—he was the star player. Probably an idiot. So many of the rugby boys seemed to be. Well, hopefully at least he was a bearable idiot.

Approaching the window, Charlie stopped still when he got his first good look at Nick Nelson, rugby lad, and suddenly the rest of the year started looking up. Nick Nelson was incredibly cute. Unlike most of the boys, he had shed his blazer and was sitting at the table in his shirt sleeves—and he filled out his very nicely fitted shirt just the way a person should, in Charlie's opinion. To add to that, he had red hair and brown eyes and, as Charlie learned when he sat down and said "hi", a lovely smile.

It would not be a hardship to have Nick Nelson be his first sight at school every morning all term. Not at all.

At break, Charlie went to the music room. This was his favorite place to meet up—it was where Ben had first approached him, and had been the scene of quite a few memorable kisses.

Ben was waiting for him, leaning against the wall, studying his phone. He straightened up when Charlie came in, running a hand over his hair to settle it. "Hey. Sorry about earlier."

"It's fine."

"I missed your face so much."

Charlie blushed, ducking his head. "Really? Did you have a good Christmas?"

Ben nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, it was all right." His eyes were fixed on Charlie's mouth, as if kissing him was all he could think of. "You?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it was good. Um ... My whole family was round on Christmas day and then—"

He was cut off by Ben kissing him. "You're so cute."

Charlie laughed. He wished sometimes he could see himself the way Ben saw him.

Ben's hand came up to cup the side of Charlie's face, holding him still for another kiss, deeper this time.

Their kiss was interrupted by the school bell ringing. Ben wiped his mouth. "See you later then, yeah?" As he went past Charlie to the door, he added, "Still don't tell anyone about this."

"Oh. Um ..." But before Charlie could say anything, Ben was gone. He lifted a hand and waved. "'Bye."

And then he went back to class. He wanted to be happy that he'd seen Ben, and he was, really, but ... something felt strange about it that he didn't remember feeling strange before the holidays. Ben rarely replied to texts other than the ones setting up new meetings, so Charlie wouldn't text him, but the next time they were together, maybe he would ask if Ben was okay. Or if there was something more Ben wanted. Charlie could be different, if that was what Ben needed him to be. At least, he could try to be.

He went off to Latin, where his friend Isaac was already at their table, his nose buried in a book. For a moment, Charlie considered confiding in Isaac, but he had promised Ben he wouldn't say anything. He wouldn't break that promise. Instead, he dug out his textbook, opened it, and waited for class to start.