Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Cuddly

Saturday came. Charlie had checked his hair at least a dozen times by the time Nick arrived, but he checked it once more for good measure before opening the door.

Nick stood there smiling at him. "Hey."

"Hey."

Charlie stood aside to let him in and showed him where to leave his coat and shoes, then led Nick up to his room.

Nick was immediately drawn to the drum kit. Charlie showed him how it worked, and the headphones that kept it from being too loud for the rest of the house. "You want to try?"

"Can I? I don't want to break anything."

"No, it's fine."

Nick sat down and hit about with the drumsticks, producing something that was almost completely the opposite of music. It was so strange—and so cute—to see Nick this awkward at something that Charlie couldn't help laughing. "You're terrible."

"I'm trying." He managed a rhythm for a few seconds, but lost it again.

"Here, budge up, let me help." Nick slid over on the stool and Charlie squeezed in next to him. He put his hands over Nick's and guided him in a rhythm. "There." He turned to Nick, smiling. "You're a pro now."

They were so close together, sitting there on the same stool, Charlie's hands on Nick's, smiling at each other, and Charlie wished ... well, he wished for something that wasn't possible, he reminded himself.

He let go of Nick's hands and stood up. "Um ... Well, that's—that's probably cheating, though."

Nick looked at him for a moment before clearing his throat. "Uh ... probably." He stood up and handed Charlie the drumsticks. "Here. You play something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, whatever you would play if you were alone."

"Okay." So Charlie sat down and showed off a bit. Then they played video games for a while, which Nick lost ... as usual.

"You know, I used to think I was good at these."

"It must be a shock to you. Nick Nelson, not good at something."

"No, there are a lot of things I'm not good at—as you know, since you're better than me at everything."

Charlie ducked his head, embarrassed at the praise. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous. Just trying to imagine how I got to be friends with such a nerd."

"I'm sorry."

Nick immediately shook his head. "Don't say that anymore. I was just joking. I like being friends with you."

Charlie was filled with warmth. "Good. Me, too."

There was a silence between them, Nick moving closer to him, almost as if he wasn't aware of it, his eyes darkening. Then he stepped back again, and Charlie wondered what had nearly happened.

To break the tension, he suggested snacks, although he wasn't very hungry, and they put on a movie. Nick let Charlie pick, since it was his house, so they watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which was old but funny.

At some point, unable to follow the movie because Nick was there, so close, so out of reach, Charlie let his head rest on the back of the couch, just watching Nick's face.

The next thing he knew, Nick was gently shaking him awake. "Charlie."

"Hm?" He opened his eyes, seeing Nick's face right there in front of him, and smiled. "Hi."

"Hi." Nick smiled back, so close, his brown eyes so warm and soft. Then Nick's phone pinged and the moment was gone. "Oh, my God, it's so late. My mum's asking if I got lost." He tapped out a reply text, then looked back at Charlie. "Got to go home."

Charlie nodded, still feeling half-asleep. "Okay." He pulled the blanket around his shoulders, getting up off the couch and following Nick to the entry, watching as he put his shoes back on. "I wish you didn't have to go." He could have kicked himself as soon as he said it.

But Nick said, "I wish I didn't, either." He shrugged his coat on, smiling at Charlie. "You look so ... cuddly like that."

Cuddly? He looked cuddly? Nick wanted to cuddle him? "Do I?" He could hardly breathe, the entry seeming so small with both of them in it.

Nick was looking at him in a way that was almost ... wistful. "Yeah." His eyes moved to Charlie's face, and he hesitated. Charlie wanted desperately to know what he was thinking.

And then suddenly Nick was hugging him, tight, his arms wrapped around Charlie and his face pressed into Charlie's shoulder.

God, he smelled good. And the way it felt to have Nick's arms round him, so warm— Unable to believe this was really happening, Charlie's response was slow. He lifted his arms, clasping them round Nick, trying not to let himself like this too much, and failing completely. He wanted to pull Nick closer, to feel more of his warmth, but he was afraid to seem too eager. Whatever was happening, whatever this was, Charlie didn't want to mess it up.

Nick's head lifted as Charlie's arms came round him, and his whole body froze. Then he let go abruptly. "Um ... Okay. See you Monday." And he was gone, without looking at Charlie again.

Charlie felt suddenly cold without the warmth of Nick's body against him. Had Nick not wanted to hug him? Should he not have hugged back?

From behind him, he heard his sister's voice. "I don't think he's straight."

Charlie turned to see her leaning against the doorway with her ever-present glass of water. He looked back at the door, wishing so much for her to be right. "Straight guys hug."

"Not like that."

She disappeared round the corner, and Charlie went up to his room. He could still feel Nick's arms round him, his heart still pounding from the contact. Pulling out his phone, he went to his group text with Tao, Isaac, and Elle. The last conversation had been about Nick—Isaac hoping for Charlie's sake that Nick was secretly gay, Tao begging him not to give Charlie ideas. Well, it was much too late to keep Charlie from getting ideas. Especially now.

"what does it mean when Hot Straight Boy hugs you for like a full ten seconds," Charlie typed, then hit Send.

Tao's response was predictable: "he was probably imagining you were tara"

"SHHH LET ME DREAM," Charlie replied.

Then a pair of texts came in from Elle: "okay charlie don't ask me how I know this, but ... tara definitely doesn't like nick back" "there's ZERO chance of tara and nick becoming a thing"

Charlie sat upright, relief and excitement filling him. Maybe there was a chance for him, then. He remembered the look on Nick's face when he woke him up, the feeling of Nick's arms round him. Maybe there was.