Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Leader

Once Charlie had changed, he met Nick on the pitch. Nick gave him a quick rundown of the rules, and they stood watching the practise for a few moments. Charlie had known rugby was a full-contact sport, but seeing it in action and contemplating it being for him made it seem a lot more real than it had in the corridor earlier.

He looked at Nick. "I know I was joking about being weak, but I am definitely too weak for this."

Nick frowned at hiim good-naturedly. "Now, where is your 'can-do' attitude."

"Oh, she left," Charlie told him. "Long ago."

"Just try. Tackle me. I won't dodge."

Charlie looked at him, gauging the distance between them, the angle.

"Come on! I bet you can do it."

This felt like one of those classic damned-if-you-do damned-if-you-don't situations. Either disappoint Nick by being afraid to try, or disappoint Nick by trying and failing. Charlie supposed, in that circumstance, it was better to try.

So he did. He took off running, caught Nick just at the hips, and knocked him over.

Sitting up, Nick immediately fixed his hair. "That was perfect."

"Was it?"

"Yeah." He got to his feet. "Now, let's try again while I'm actually moving." He held out a hand to help Charlie up. "Come on."

"I'm going to die."

"Maybe, but probably not today," was Nick's cheerful reply.

They practised tackling for most of the hour. Charlie didn't entirely object to putting his arms round Nick and knocking him to the ground, over and over again, but he did wonder, at the end of practise, when he was winded and dirty and thirsty and tired, what exactly it was about this good-natured golden retriever of a boy that made him want to put himself through the horrors of rugby.

All night, he told himself he was going to quit, that he'd given it a good try, but it wasn't for him. But faced with Nick's smile in form the next morning, and Nick's somewhat over-the-top praise for how he'd done yesterday, he knew he couldn't go through with it. He forced a smile, pretended enthusiasm, and said that yes, he looked forward to today's practise.

Tao and Isaac actively tried at lunch to convince him to give it up, but Charlie stuck to it. It wasn't just that Nick was cute, or that Charlie's crush on him was growing exponentially as they spent more time together. It was that Nick actually believed Charlie could play rugby, and was taking off from his own practise and playing time to teach him. That kind of support and encouragement was rare, in Charlie's experience, and it was really nice to have someone as capable as Nick supporting him, even in such a ridiculous endeavour as Charlie Spring learning to play rugby.

As the practises went on, Charlie started seeing a new side of Nick, as well. In form, he was cheerful, but quiet, rarely engaging with anyone but Charlie. In his classes, he seemed to be okay with being a mediocre student, from what Charlie could tell. He often didn't finish his homework until form, or later; he aimed for solid grades but never seemed bothered by the idea that he could get really good grades if he worked harder. He really just seemed content to go through life with a smile on his face and not too many worries.

Charlie had never been someone like that, and he had never really known someone like that. He was charmed by Nick's general good humour. But he had to admit, he had wondered how that translated to rugby, which had never struck Charlie as a particularly good-humoured game.

Watching Nick, in the locker room and in practise and with the other players, Charlie started to see why he was so good at the game. He loved it. He studied it at night when he ought to be doing his homework, he came up with good ideas for plays and was not only willing but enthusiastic to explain them to the others. He took the game seriously, his eyes all over the pitch. Nothing that happened escaped him, and he was always there to point out where they needed someone else on the field, to take a tackle himself if needed. And that was with the added distraction of having taken Charlie's training in the game upon himself.

As they arrived in the locker room, Charlie noticed, the other boys hung on every word Harry Greene had to say. But as soon as they were in their uniforms, it was Nick they looked to. Nick they listened to. He was a natural leader, fair and friendly and endlessly patient, but expecting hard work from himself and from the rest of the team. Watching him play rugby, Charlie thought he could see what Nick Nelson would be like as an adult, and he liked what he saw, more and more every day.

It was largely due to Nick's enthusiasm and Coach Singh's support that Charlie began to feel comfortable. At least on the pitch, he was treated as more or less one of the team, once the others got that he was working hard to pick up the basic skills and was learning, albeit slowly. The locker room was a diffferent story—in the locker room, he was Charlie Spring, year 10 gay boy, and they never let him forget it.

But he was also under Nick's protection. All the boys knew that, even if none of them understood why he was going out of his way any more than Charlie did, and so nothing overt was ever said. As long as Charlie made sure that Nick was always in the locker room when he was, he felt relatively safe.