Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Nickname

So they joined the others, and Charlie smiled faintly at some stupid joke Harry made, and he avoided looking at Ben, and he stuck close to Nick's side, although he was well aware that actually made it worse—at least for Nick.

Behind them, one of the lads asked Ben if Charlie was his mate, and Ben denied it. Charlie was over Ben; he knew what Ben was about now, and that had never been Charlie. But it still hurt to be denied, for Ben to pretend that there had never been anything between them, that they'd never even spoken to each other.

"Why can't any of you ever bring a girl with you?" Harry complained loudly.

Charlie pitied any girl who showed up. If this was the way they treated him, and he had come just as Nick's friend, he could only imagine the things they'd say around a girl who happened to be brought along. He wanted to tell them—at least the nice ones—that no girl was going to want to be around Harry, because everyone knew what Harry was like, but they wouldn't believe him, because the rugby lads were really the only ones who didn't know about Harry and how roundly he was disliked.

"Let's get popcorn," Nick said, pulling Charlie aside while the others went on ahead. "Do you prefer sweet or salted? Or we could get a mix of both."

Popcorn sounded nauseating, especially right now. But it was nice of Nick to offer, and to try to distract him. "I'm not really hungry, to be honest. You get some, though." He smiled at Nick. None of this was Nick's fault—he truly didn't know what his friends were like to other people.

Looking almost as anxious as Charlie felt, Nick laid his hand gently along Charlie's sleeve. "Char ... are you okay? I honestly had no idea they'd be here. I—I wouldn't have suggested we come if I'd known."

Charlie was too distracted by the nickname to focus on the rest of Nick's words. Nick had a special, private name for him, one that he had never called him out loud before? That might be the most adorable, amazing thing Charlie had ever heard. "Char?" he echoed softly.

Nick looked away, blushing beautifully, one hand rising to his neck as it did when he was embarrassed. "Uh ... Wow, that just slipped out."

"Oh, my God, say it again."

"No."

"Go on!"

"No."

"I like it," Charlie said softly, wishing they were alone right now so he could show Nick how much. "It's cute."

Nick was looking down at him, his eyes half-closed, his head beginning to incline towards Charlie's, and Charlie would have kissed him right here in the cinema in front of all the others, because Nick was so beautiful and Charlie was so completely head-over-heels for him, but then Nick remembered where they were and smiled his gorgeous half-smile instead. "Well, now I'm never calling you it again."

They laughed together, and Charlie immediately began imagining ways to get Nick to call him the name. In private, next time.

The moment was broken by Harry, of course. "Hey, lovebirds, you coming in, or what?"

Nick and Charlie were the last two into the cinema. Nick sat next to his friend Sai, with Charlie on the end of the group, next to Nick.

It was a horror movie, which surprised Charlie a little bit. He liked horror, but he knew Nick didn't. He didn't know how much Nick didn't until the first scare, when Nick jumped and grabbed for the armrest. His hand closed over Charlie's.

Both of them looked at their hands there on the armrest. When Nick didn't move, Charlie did, removing his hand and resting it on his leg instead. "Sorry," he whispered.

After a moment or two, he felt Nick's hand coming down over his side of the armrest, Nick's little finger slipping in between Charlie's last two fingers, the familiar electric buzz that always came from Nick's touch racing along his nerve endings. He curled his little finger around Nick's, smiling down at their joined hands.

Then he looked up into Nick's eyes, wanting to check if he was really sure he wanted to risk this, right here in the cinema where any of his mates could see. Nick looked nervous, but he smiled.

When they watched movies together at one of their houses, they always held hands or cuddled—at least, until one of them got distracted and the kissing started—so Charlie supposed he ought to have expected that Nick would want the physical contact in the cinema, too. But he hadn't thought it would be the same with the others around, and he was filled with warmth for this lovely boy who kept trying to hide who he was, or who he was becoming, and could never quite manage it.

Charlie leaned over, smiling, and whispered affectionately, "You're a dork."

Nick smiled, too, looking at Charlie as though he couldn't tear his eyes away, and he shifted his hand so their fingers were laced together.

And he proceeded to squeeze Charlie's hand so hard through every jump scare for the rest of the movie that it would probably be red for the rest of the day. Charlie didn't mind at all. Holding hands with Nick, he could forget about the others. Harry and his horrible 'jokes' that weren't meant to be funny; Ben's coldness even while he looked at Charlie as if things weren't over between them; the silence of the nicer lads; and the empty mean laughter of the others.

It was hard to believe that Nick was really friends with these guys sometimes, but he was, and so Charlie would have to get used to them.