Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Text

As he sat waiting for the bus, Charlie took out his phone, navigating Nick's Insta and his DMs and starting a message. But it didn't sound right, so he deleted it and started again. And again, frustrated with himself for making this so complicated.

At last he settled on simplicity. "Thank you x"

By the time Charlie got home, Nick still hadn't texted back. He got through dinner and homework, then put on his headphones and started practising his drums. In the the middle of that, his phone finally pinged, with a message from Nick. "Are you feeling okay?"

Immediately, Charlie ripped off his headphones and moved over to sit next to his bed, sending a reassuring response: "yeah, i'm fine, don't worry" with a smiley face.

Nick's reply came back quickly. "You sure??"

No, Charlie really wasn't sure. But he also didn't know how to reply, over text, about a humiliating and painful moment, to the boy who had witnessed and saved him from that moment, but who hardly knew him. And on whom he had an ever-deepening crush. Charlie shifted around on the floor of his room, hoping that moving positions would help him find the words, but nothing sounded or felt right.

At last, a string of texts came in from Nick: "You can talk to me about it if you want" "Sounds like a pretty serious situation" "But you don't have to" "If you don't want to", and finally, "But I am your friend and I do care."

Charlie smiled at that one. It was so earnest—so Nick. So he started typing out the story, of Ben coming to him in the music room, introducing himself, calling Charlie brave ... but he didn't add how flattered he had been that this good-looking and confident year 11 should approach him, or how he had wanted to believe him so much that he never let himself see all the warning signs. "he never actually wanted to be my boyfriend" "i guess he was just using me" He finished up with, "sorry ... i know he's your friend."

Nick's reply came shortly after the final text: "Well, he's definitely not anymore!!!" "GOD I hate him so much" "Please don't ever talk to him again."

Well, that was pretty easily done. Likely Ben wouldn't want to talk to Charlie, either, or be reminded of the way he had backed down so readily from Nick. "thank you for being my supportive straight friend haha" He sent the message, and then he held his breath, hoping against hope that Nick would respond with something along the lines of "not so straight as all that".

Instead, Nick's answer was "Lol that's okay!!" He followed it up with "If he ever comes near you again I'll kick his ass," which was nice to hear, but wasn't quite what Charlie had hoped for.

Then again, he'd been foolish to get his hopes up anyway. Being friends with Nick would have to be enough. And it was, he told himself. It really was. He sent back a heart emoji, and left it at that for the night.

It was a bit awkward in form the next morning. They smiled at each other and said "hi", but neither of them was sure how to start a new conversation after the seriousness of last night's.

As he lay on his stomach on his bedroom floor working on his homework that night, his phone pinged with a text from Nick. "Sorry I didn't say much today. Couldn't think what to say."

Charlie smiled, glad that Nick had started it. He'd typed several openers and hadn't been happy with any of them. "i thought i was the one who said sorry a lot"

"Must be catching." "I couldn't have gotten your spectacular maths ability instead?"

"i told you i'd help you"

"So you did."

"what are you working on now?"

So Nick told him, and Charlie walked him through a tricky problem, and then he asked about Charlie's homework, and they talked about a teacher Nick had had in year 10.

Charlie texted "why are we still talking about this?" "we can stop if you want to"

"I messaged you first!!!" "I like talking to you"

He stared at his phone for a minute, just reading those words over and over again. Nick Nelson liked talking to him. Most of Truham would have found that idea laughable—certainly both his and Nick's friends would—but Charlie had come to know Nick well enough to be sure he wouldn't have said it if he didn't mean it.

Nick was still texting him. "also I'm so booored" "I have this geography project to do"

"ew why did you pick geography gcse"

"Because I'm an idiot" "What did you pick?"

"Music, Latin, Spanish, classics"

"You picked four???" "Omg you are smart" "Also you can't criticise me for having geography when you do LATIN."

"okay okay true," Charlie answered. "you can figure how to solve global warming" "while I learn a dead language"

"Seriously why Latin."

"because it's cool" Charlie knew Latin wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but he liked it. It was a little bit like maths, putting the sentences together like an equation.

"Wow," Nick replied. "I'm judging you so hard right now."

"ffs i promise i'm cool actually" He wasn't, really, but he liked the idea that Nick might think he was.

"Nope you have been exposed as a NERD."

"rude!!!!"

"A cool nerd?"

"that's better"

"lmao"

They carried on like that, and before Charlie knew it, his mother was knocking at the door. "Bedtime, Charlie. Well past. Not done with your work?"

"No, I am. Just ... just finished."

"All right. Good-night."

"Good-night."

He and Nick were in the middle of challenging each other to a MarioKart tournament. Charlie had just texted "it's ON"

Nick replied, "Anywayyyy I have to sleep now." "it's so late haha"

"omg it is i didn't even notice" Although that would explain his mum's rather sharp tone.

They took a bit longer to finish up talking completely, but eventually Charlie went to bed, smiling into the darkness.

Nick was really his friend—not just nice, not just someone who showed up to save the day, but someone who actually liked talking to him. Now if only Charlie could stop lying here and dreaming about Nick coming to his senses and realising he liked boys, everything would be great. But he couldn't, so here he was, wishing for the moon and the stars.