Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Idea

Form was incredibly lonely without Nick. Charlie had known the lengthy period of GCSE revision for Year 11s was coming up ... he just hadn't been prepared to walk into school, sit down at their table, and not see his boyfriend's beautiful face.

Nick clearly felt the same way. He was texting Charlie from the gym, where the revisions were being run. "Nearly came out to Imogen this morning lol" "Also I miss you" with a sad face.

Charlie smiled. He was glad Nick and Imogen were still friends, after that disastrous date that hadn't happened earlier in the spring. He'd be even more glad when Imogen knew once and for all that Nick was taken.

Taken. He smiled more broadly. Then Mr. Lange called out Nick's name, and Charlie was reminded of how lonely things were about to get in here. The weeks of revisions until the GCSEs were finished stretched out forever, it seemed.

"omg you almost told imogen?? you're amazing", he texted, nearly missing his own name being called.

"Here, sir."

"i miss you too tho", he added, with a crying emoji.

After school, at least. Then they could be together. Except that after school Nick would have rugby. And Charlie wouldn't. Hours of Nick on the pitch, in his shorts, without being able to see him.

Wait. Charlie had just promised Tao and Isaac that he would help Nick make it up with the rugby boys—the nice ones, the ones who still wanted to be Nick's friend. And where better to do that than on the pitch?

"i might have an idea ..." he texted.

At lunch, he made his way to Coach Singh's office. She looked up and smiled when he came in.

"I want to rejoin the rugby team," he told her.

"Good for you. We're glad to have you back."

"Yeah. Thanks." He swallowed, thinking of Harry, hoping he was doing the right thing. Then he thought of Nick, and he was sure.

That afternoon, Charlie arrived at the locker room just as everyone was finishing up changing. The look on Nick's face when he saw him—confusion, then delight—was worth every pang of nerves Charlie had felt all day. Everyone else mostly ignored him, after a moment of silent recognition going right back to their own conversations.

They walked together onto the pitch, all the other boys streaming past them.

"You know you don't have to do this if you don't want to," Nick told him.

"I want to. Otherwise we'll barely see each other this term. And," he added loftily, "I've missed rugby."

Nick laughed. "Have you now?"

"Yeah. I love running around and falling over."

"Oh, well, you are very good at the falling over part."

Charlie poked him in the back. "I'm very good at the running part, too, actually."

"What, running away from the ball?"

Turning, Charlie said, "Okay, well, if you don't want me here—"

As he had expected, Nick immediately reached for him. "Oh, no, no, no. Come on." His hand rested briefly on Charlie's arm. "I need you."

Charlie felt warmed all through. He needed Nick, too. It was nice to know it was mutual.

Otis jogged up, putting an arm across Charlie's shoulders. "Oi! Are you coming back to rugby?"

"Yeah."

"Yes, lad!" Otis grinned and jogged away. "Come on, then."

Charlie followed, glad someone was happy to have him back. He'd wondered how the boys all felt about him leaving.

Watching the practise, Charlie could see it was a good thing he'd come back. They weren't playing like a team. Nick wasn't passing right, he was avoiding the others, and communication on the field was a mess. If rugby was going to continue to be Nick's refuge, the place he worked out his feelings, and he was going to be reunited with his friends, he was going to need help. Charlie's help.

The two of them took their time changing, while all the other boys finished up and left the locker room. There were mutterings about how bad the practise had gone, mostly from Harry. Charlie wondered if he knew how much of the problem he was.

Once it seemed like they were mostly alone, he took the chocolate bar out of the pocket of his backpack.

Nick sat up from tying his shoes and looked at him questioningly.

"I ... got you a present." It suddenly seemed so silly, he nearly took it back.

"What? Why?" Nick took it, smiling.

"Because ... we've been going out for two months."

"As in, it's our two-month anniversary?"

"it sounds silly when you say it like that."

"No, no, it doesn't!"

"And now I'm embarrassed." Charlie got up, turning away so Nick couldn't see his face.

"No! Look. Um ..." Nick studied the chocolate bar for a moment. "I ... I did not get you a present."

Charlie smiled at him, pretending there wasn't a tickle at the back of his mind wishing he had. "It's okay. I didn't want it to become a thing, so ..."

Nick stood up, putting them suddenly very close together. The way Nick filled up all the available space in front of him, the heat coming off his body ... Sometimes Charlie still expected to wake up and find this was all a dream. "It could be a thing," Nick said. He looked down at the chocolate bar, his dimple showing. "And how did you know this is my favourite chocolate bar?"

"Uh ... You mentioned it ages ago, so ..." And it was probably incredibly dorky of Charlie to remember. Or was it being a good boyfriend? He was never sure where the line fell.

Nick laughed softly, leaning his forehead against Charlie's. "Thank you." He leaned in for a kiss, just a quick one, and pulled back.

But it wasn't enough. Charlie curved a hand round the back of Nick's neck and kissed him again. And they went on kissing as if they were never going to get enough until behind them, the locker room door slammed, reminding Charlie of where they were.

Charlie laughed. "And that's why we shouldn't kiss at school."

"Oh, but kissing's so fun!"

"But you getting outed because we get caught kissing is not."

"I ... I want to tell people. You know, like Imogen. I just ... It's hard to find the right time."

"You don't have to tell everyone, or anyone, if you don't want to."

"You're making me want to kiss you again," Nick said, his eyes half-closed as if the kiss was coming any moment.

"I'm being serious."

"So am I." Nick smiled and stepped closer. "Hey. If we're out by the time of the Paris trip, we can, uh ... kiss on the Eiffel Tower."

Charlie smiled, not even able to imagine it, that sounded so amazing. They both turned away, gathering their things. "No more kissing at school. It's too risky."

Nick grinned, which wasn't agreement, Charlie noticed.

"I have an idea," Charlie said as they walked out together. "We were thinking of having movie night and a sleepover at my house this weekend. Why don't we have you and Tara and Darcy along, and then invite Imogen? It might be easier to come out to her when we're all there to support you."

"That is a great idea." Nick stopped walking, pulling Charlie to a stop, too. "You sure no kissing at school? Because that idea really deserves one."

"Race you back to my house, then. If you can keep up." Charlie grinned, knowing they weren't going to race in full school uniform—and that Nick couldn't keep up if they did.

"That is unfair."

"Get faster, then, Nicholas."