Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Fire

Since they'd been in the woods, the party had only grown louder and more boisterous. Charlie wished more than ever that they'd skipped it and just stayed home, the two of them. But this was where Nick wanted to be, and this was where he wanted to come out to his friends, so Charlie was going to help him make that happen.

They made their way into the screaming mass of people. Someone Charlie didn't know slung an arm round his shoulders and dragged him off into a group of people who were dancing. Charlie couldn't even recognise the song. All he heard was the drumbeat.

He stood on his tiptoes, looking over everyone's shoulder, calling for Nick, but he couldn't see him anywhere. His heart was pounding. He never liked large groups like this, and it felt ... uncontrolled. Like anything could happen.

Over the crowd, over the music, he could hear Harry Greene's voice calling for quiet. Charlie never thought he'd be grateful to Harry, but it seemed that here they were.

But the lull didn't last long. All around him, kids were chanting "Fire! Fire! Fire!" as the bonfire was lit.

Darkness fell as Charlie made his way through the crowd, occasionally being stopped by someone who wanted to shout something unintelligible at him about the end of the school year. He smiled vaguely at these people, and kept looking for Nick, who seemed to have disappeared completely.

At last, he found the next best thing: Tao. Who was standing in the woods looking lost.

"How'd it go?" Charlie asked. From Tao's face and body language, he was guessing not well, but he hoped maybe something else was causing his friend to look mopey. Tao and Elle deserved to be happy together.

Tao shook his head. "Bad. I'm fundamentally unlikeable."

"Don't say that, Tao."

"I try too hard and I talk too much." Tao looked like he was fighting tears. "I ruin everything!"

"Tao, please don't say that." Charlie hugged him. Hard. Tao was a lovely person, and he deserved to be cared for by someone who liked him for who he was. If that wasn't Elle ... well, Charlie would have to talk to Elle to be sure it wasn't. But if it wasn't her, there would be someone else who saw the giant heart that Tao tried so hard to hide.

Still clinging to Charlie, Tao said, "I'm going to go home." He let go, and with a last look that revealed the shine of tears in his eyes, he walked off into the forest.

Charlie turned around to face the bonfire. He'd had such hopes for his friends, and apparently it wasn't going to work out for them. And he'd had such hopes for him and Nick, and now all it seemed was stress: parents and school keeping them apart, Nick so worried about coming out and so inexplicably unable to. Charlie wanted to understand. He knew it was hard. But Nick was so happy when they were together—why wasn't that enough to make him want everyone to know about them?

But it didn't matter. All Charlie wanted was to be with Nick. And if that meant they kept their relationship a secret from all but their best friends, that's what it meant. He pushed back into the crowd, determined that this time he would find Nick.

And he did. In a knot of rugby boys, with Harry Greene's arm looped around his neck. Nick looked ... lost. Bewildered. Charlie immediately felt something was wrong. He pulled Harry off Nick and shoved him away. "Nick doesn't want to talk to you, Harry. Piss off."

Harry laughed. "Oi, what's his problem?" But he also pissed off, as requested. He joined Ben and Imogen, and Ben looked at Charlie and deliberately kissed Imogen's temple.

Charlie turned back to Nick, who was looking increasingly distressed. "Are you okay?"

Nick started to say something, stopped, then said, "I feel really ill."

"I'm taking you home." He tugged Nick out of the noisy mob of people and into the cool darkness of the woods. Nick clung to his hand and followed him. "Do you want to walk, or should we have your mum pick us up?"

Nick frowned, blinking. "Walk, I think. It'll clear my head."

"Okay." Charlie held on to his boyfriend's hand. "I saw Tao."

There was a pause. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. The date didn't go well."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Yeah." Charlie didn't try to talk again until they were at Nick's house.

His mum came from the living room when they got in. "How was the party?" Her face dropped in concern. "Nicky, you all right?"

"He said he felt ill."

"All right. Let me take him."

Nick allowed his mum to take his hand instead and lead him up the stairs. Charlie called up after them, "I'm going to take Nellie for a walk."

"Thank you, love," Sarah called back.

When Charlie came back into the house with Nellie, Sarah was still upstairs. So Charlie went into the ktichen and started making tea. He had missed being here so much. Nick's house was always peaceful and welcoming, neat without being uncomfortably so. And it always smelled good. It felt ... well, it felt like home.

Sarah came in, and Charlie turned and handed her the tea he'd made for her. "Oh, you're a star."

"Is he okay?" He'd been more worried than he cared to admit to himself. Nick was never ill.

"Oh, he'll be fine," Sarah said, looking completely unbothered. "Just a bit of sunstroke, probably. I did tell him to put a hat on when he took Nellie out today."

"D'you mind if I stay for a bit? Just to make sure he's okay."

She smiled. "Of course, darling. Not past your curfew; I don't want to get you in trouble with your parents." As Charlie turned around with the mugs in his hands, she added, "Nick's so lucky to have you, Charlie."

Her words warmed him as much as the jumper—Nick's, of course—he was wearing. It was so nice to be somewhere that he was appreciated and wanted, and that their relationship was supported. He hoped Sarah knew what a lovely person she was.