Falling (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Families

Nick didn't speak until they were halfway home. At last he asked softly, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He wasn't, really, still keyed up, his stomach twisted in knots. But in another way, he was more okay than he'd been in a long time. "I don't really want to talk about it. Not right now."

"Of course. Is it ... is it okay if I say I'm proud of you? You needed to say those things ... and he needed to hear them."

"Thanks." Charlie squeezed Nick's hand.

"Just—I promise, this is the last thing. Charlie, if I ever make you feel—"

"You don't."

"Never?"

"Never."

"But if the voice in your head ever—"

Charlie squeezed his hand to make him stop. He understood Nick's anxieties, or at least, he thought he did, but this wasn't about that. "Nick. It's my voice, in my head. It's not about you."

"I know. At least—I'm trying to know. I just ... I don't ever want you to feel like you don't deserve ... everything."

"I know you don't. Really. Just—sometimes knowing isn't enough."

Nick nodded. "I get that." He stroked the back of Charlie's hand with his thumb. "And you didn't want to talk about it, and here I am. Sorry."

"What have we said about that word?" Charlie teased him.

"It's our favourite?"

"Seems like it. Now ... on to the next exciting part of our day. How are you feeling about the dinner with your dad?"

"Okay? I guess? I don't know. Did you—did you tell your parents not to say anything?"

"Yeah." And hadn't that been a conversation. His mum had not been pleased.

"I'm—" Nick stopped and cleared his throat. "I wish it didn't have to be like this. If I could have found the words to tell him in Paris—"

"He left before you could tell him anything," Charlie reminded him. "That's not your fault. You tried."

"Yeah. Maybe." Nick looked tense, and Charlie wished none of this was happening, that they were going back for a nice movie night with Sarah, pizza and snuggles with Nellie, just quietly being together. Still ... his parents getting to know Nick's parents was a good thing. Nick's father getting to know Nick would be a good thing. Charlie wanted to help make that happen.

When they arrived at Nick's house, his father was already there, on the couch with David shouting over a football match. He was shouting in French, which was somewhat novel to Charlie, at least. But they could hear him from the driveway. Charlie had never liked raised voices, and he knew Nick didn't, either. Nick turned to him, taking a deep breath.

"Do we need to pretend to be platonic BFFs in front of your dad?" Not telling him was one thing. Pretending to be good buddies in the way he'd expect was quite another.

"I mean ..." That stressed look was back in Nick's eyes. "Yeah. Maybe just for now. But I'm going to tell him about us tonight."

Charlie stood up on his toes and kissed him, glad to see the smile back on Nick's face. "You can do it. I'm here for you ... mate." He punched Nick lightly in the chest with both fists.

"You did not just call me 'mate'."

"Pal. Bro." He drew that one out, making his voice unnaturally deep. "Supportive straight friend?"

"Charlie!" But Nick was laughing, which had been the point.

They went into the house together. "Dad, we're home," Nick said.

"Ah, Nick!" Stephane didn't get up, just turned on the couch and raised a hand to slap Nick's, or shake it. Charlie wasn't clear. He said something in French, gesturing to Charlie.

"Charlie," Nick reminded him.

"Yeah. Charlie." They shook hands formally. "Good to see you again." He turned back to the TV. "You guys should come and join us. Look, it's Toulouse and Montpellier. Look at that. Look at that."

Nick's dad appeared oblivious to David staring up at Nick and Charlie with an undeniable smirk spread across his face. Charlie didn't like that look at all. David was going to be trouble tonight, he could tell.

But then both David and Stephane were caught up in the game, and Nick and Charlie turned and went into the kitchen. Sarah was at the stove, cooking something.

"Shall I lay the table, Sarah?" Charlie asked.

She turned to smile at him. "Oh, you are a good boy." Picking up a large stock pot from the stove, she carried it to the counter.

Quietly, Nick asked her, "How's it been since he got here?"

"It's been fine." She looked up and smiled at him and repeated herself for good measure.

The exchange said a lot about their relationship and about the way Stephane unsettled both of them.

"He doesn't have to know, sweetheart," Sarah said. "He's got no right to know. You don't owe him a thing."

David and Stephane were punctuating the conversation with their shouts at the TV. Such a contrast to the quiet, peaceful house Charlie knew Nick and his mum preferred. Nellie was nowhere to be seen, probably hiding in Nick's room where it was quiet. Charlie wished he could join her.

"I'm not doing it for him," Nick said. "I'm ... doing it for me."

The doorbell rang, and Charlie's nerves ratcheted up a few levels. He wished they had done this dinner party when it was only them, without the extra stress of Nick's father and brother there.

But what was done was done, and they would just have to do their best to manage their families. Sarah took off her apron and patted herself down to make sure she didn't have flour or anything spattered on her clothes. Charlie and Nick exchanged glances, and together they all went to answer the door.