Hunted Predator [DISCONTINUED]

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How would my life be if this curse never existed?

Hm...that is a question to ponder about. Quite unrealistic but fantasies are about dreaming after all

Perhaps it will be full of...love. Not the love I receive now. The words. The little smiles. Those aren't real.

And I know they're not real.

And they know too.

They know it's for the moments I present myself and for the moments when I would ever come back. It is never for the memories. And never for who I am.

It would be the kind of love everyone receives. The special kind.

The one you share with a parent, or a friend, or a loved one, or a child, or even an object. It's not forced. It's not fading either. It's just there.

Whenever they see them walk or run or even glance at them. It's simply there.

And it looks beautiful.

and as much I yearn for it , I am grateful that their love isn't the form I can take away from them no matter how much I desire for it. Even if I would, I know it wouldn't be mine.

And I am happy about that.

I think...I would like to have that form of love too. The shining aura it holds. Something that blooms and blooms and blooms like a raging fire. It stays and they stay. And they hold it. And never let it go.

As much as I want to think it may not exist I realized it does, but not for me.

But for others

I would be able hear someone without a wall in front of me.

I would be able to see someone without remorseful or a strained smile in a rigid from.

I would then go back to my youth and run out and play with the other children.

I would be able to go to people welcomed.

I would be able to walk out and meet people I haven't casted eyes upon.

I would be able to smile and laugh without the fear of being obsessed.

I could then see and love.

And love without obsession. Without an undying desire. But a fancy want. Nothing more than that.

I would be thinking as me. And not as someone else. And not as a devil.

Not as two. But as one.

As me.

I think i could do all of that.

I could walk without hanging my head low.

I could compliment without any fear.

I could do everything.

I would not be scared anymore. I would never have the curled up fear or caution.

I think I would be loved

Truly loved

And I think I would be happy

Truly happy