A Teenage Love Affair

A Teenage Love Affair: Chapter 22- Daddy's Little Girl

Love. They say that it’s the most amazing thing in the world. But I don’t wanna believe in it. Love is a word—it’s not a thing. It can be a noun if used as a subject and can be a verb if used in action. I kind of want to think that love is a reciprocal feeling that can’t be felt by only one person. People say that love binds people, it stops hatred, and it prevents fear. If that is love, then why did my parents broke up? If love stops hatred, then why are there still wars and violence? If it prevents fear, then why am I still afraid? I guess I don’t fully understand what love is. Maybe something’s wrong with me.

I got home and I realized that neither my dad nor Amy was there. Even the maid had left me alone leaving a note that she had to go and buy groceries. Maybe it’s the perfect time to pack my things and leave town. You know, make a run for it while I still can. But then what will happen to me? I don’t run away from my problems. Maybe a shower would clear my senses.

But even taking a shower didn’t help me at all. It only gave me the stupidest idea ever. To think I thought of telling my dad about the baby and beg him to bring me to a nursing home for pregnant women. Still, it’s counted as running away from everything. But it was the closest thing that I could do best so that I won’t get tied to Marky and make another mistake.

I started to practice my speech to my dad. I made him coffee and I waited for him at the front porch just like when I was five. The tea cup shook as I held it out in the porch. I know it wasn’t an earth shake but it was my body shaking in nervousness. How could I tell my dad that I’m pregnant at seventeen? It’s a complete disappointment for a parent to know that their daughter’s gonna be a mother before she even turns into a lady. At least I know that I have my own regrets.

I can’t just have a convo with my dad like:

“Hey, Christian I’m pregnant!”

“Oh that’s great, Pumpkin! I can’t wait to be a grand daddy!”

How ridiculous that would be.

I took a glimpse at my phone and found a message from Marky asking if I had gotten home safe. He’s acting close again that it pissed me off. So I told him that I was still alive and so as his little bastard. I then heard the familiar roar of my dad’s fave car. My heart started to pound inside my chest. When my dad was out of the car and was heading at the front porch, I felt like I’m gonna faint. But I couldn’t faint right now. My dad ascended the front porch steps and I remained slouch on my seat.

“What’s up, Pumpkin?” he asks just as always when he gets home. That nickname kind of stink but he defends that it was my fave food when I was one. But now it was the least of my fave to eat. So, in return, I call my dad with his first name. He thinks it’s cool because it doesn’t make him too old.

“Nothing much,” I answered as casual as possible. “I just feel like waiting for you.” I smiled to make it more natural.

He smiled back at me. “Awesome. I feel so special. What have you eaten lately?” he sat beside me and I felt tenser.

“Just macaroni and cheese.” I lied when all along I don’t know how to cook that. Actually, I don’t know how to cook anything.

He laughs. “You are a terrible liar, you know that?”

(T>T) I wrinkled my nose. “You think so?” I sighed. “I made you coffee.”

For a moment his blue eyes gaze at me and then down to my trembling hands which I held tightly together so that he won’t notice. He took a sip from his coffee and I tried to hold his gaze as he looks at me from the brim of his cup. But I couldn’t. I looked down at my hands instead. I heard his cup being placed down and I know that confrontation is not far behind.

“What is it, Dennise?”

I pursed my lips, hugged my knees and rocked back and forth on my seat. I looked at my dad and I felt my eyes burning with tears that were about to fall.

“Christian, if I did something wrong would you forgive me?” I asked.

He smiles understandingly. “Of course I will, no matter what, Pumpkin.”

“Then what if I tell you I did something really, really bad will you still forgive me?” I asked and this time, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Tell me what is it, Dennise. You know you can always tell me anything. We share secrets right?”

I started to cry as I looked at him and I tried to come up with the words to tell him.

“Daddy, I’m pregnant.” I said. It was almost a whisper but I heard what I said clearly from my ears. I waited for his reaction, but he just sat there and looked at me blankly. It may have taken him a few seconds before he was brought back to his senses.

“I’m sorry, you what?”

I felt a stake in my heart as I repeated it to him. “I’m pregnant.”

He drew back and there was his intake of breath. He stared into blank space as he tried to sink in what I just told him. The moment he became silent, that’s when I started to sob.

“Dad, please don’t get mad at me.”

“Dennise,” he sighed as he looks at me. “What had happened—how could this happen?”

I cried. “Daddy, I don’t know. I just want you to be with me right now… I—I don’t know what to do. It all happened so fast and I don’t know what to do.”

“How come you don’t know when it’s already happening?” my dad’s voice rose. I froze and my dad calmed his self before he moved towards me and hugged me.

“Have you considered doing the alternative?” why do people ask that when someone clearly didn’t go to abortion? (o.O)

I shook my head. “I was scared of doing it.”

My dad nodded as he stared back into thin air.

“You’re not even eighteen.” He almost tells himself. “Now, my baby’s having a baby.”

A single tear fell from my eye.

“Have you come into terms with the baby’s father?” he asks and I nodded.

I was about to tell him that Marky and I are planning to give up the baby for adoption and marry him (Marky)—well, of course I don’t want to. So I want him (my dad) to take me instead into a nursing home for pregnant women when out of the blue lagoon he just came up with the most gruesome decision.

“Call the father of your baby.” He said as he massages the bridge of his nose.

“Why?” I asked in panic.

He gave me his strict-dad look. “Because I wanna meet him first thing in the morning.”

What the f*ck. (>.<)