We will protect you

Painful thoughts

I come around when I feel my body being lay on my soft bed, I keep my eyes closed As I feel hands on me, knowing they are Harry's, Edward and Liam's.

" Keep the pressure on his leg until I can set up a suture kit" I hear Liam ask Edward.

" I don't understand this, why would he do this to himself?".

" Harry this wouldn't have been his first time, he has obviously done it before, I imagine he does it to take away the pain, it's a way to manage emotional pain, overwhelming feelings or distress, the physical pain provides temporary relief from the emotional pain, that why people usually do it to escape, and from what Lou told us he has a lot to escape from".

" Ok we need to pull his shorts off I want to be able to get to his leg without and restrictions, When I say Edward lift the towel and Harry pull his shorts off, I am hoping the blood has slowed down by now it should have." 

" Ok get into position, Ed just lifts the towel a fraction so I can see what is going on" I hear Liam ask as I feel the pressure on my leg lift.

" Ok that's looking good, it still needs stitches, but the blood flow has definitely slowdown, which is great to see, ok pull his shorts of, yep ok, apply pressure again Ed." 

" Edward, look" I hear Harry say and I knew my secret had been found out, my shirt must have ridden up exposing my hip.

" I can see some faint lines under those fresh marks, I imagine this has been going on for quite a few years" I hear Liam say.

" I am going to make that fucking man pay for this" I hear Edward say, I slowly let out a moan making my presence known.

" Baby" I hear Harry say, his fingers brushing my cheek, I turn towards him.

" Don't hate me, please don't hate me" I managed to sob out before the sob take over my body.

" No no baby, we could never hate you" Harry lips touch my cheek.

" Princess we are so sorry that you felt this was your only way to stop all the pain" Edward is leaning over me wiping my tears as they fall.

" Lou, I am going to have to stitch your leg up, this is going to hurt when I numb the area just for a few minutes".

" I can take the pain; I am used to it" I say brokenly.

" We will make sure you never feel you have to do that again" Edward saids .

I can feel the tugging at my skin as Liam stitches up my leg.

" Nearly done Lou, just one last one and I will put a dressing over it".

My Whole body feels numb, I feel like I am shutting down to everything around me, I can hear everyone's voices and not actually work out exactly what they are saying.

" I think he is going into shock" Liam saids " let's cover him and keep him warm, and let him rest, one of you or both should stay with him, hopefully within a few hours he will be more with us.

I feel like the last few weeks have been nothing but pain and drama, I just want to spend a few weeks just being happy and normal I think as I rest against the bed, I woke up a few hours ago feeling a lot better and also ashamed of what I had done and that everyone had discovered my secret.

I am on my own at the moment, so I am grateful for a bit of breathing room, I try to think what I am going to say to the boys but honestly, I suppose I just have to tell them the truth, that my feeling just gets too much some time and I need something to take it all away, however that is.

I turn my head as Liam walks into the room.

" Hi Lou, how are you feeling? is your leg giving you too much pain?" Liam asks as he sits beside my bed.