We will protect you

Keeping you safe

" Come on baby, let's get you up" Harry holds out his hand to me, he is Alway so caring and gentle, not like his brother.

We move to head out the door, but I shake my head.

" No, I want to stay in here please, I don't want to go back into your room, not at the moment".

" You know he is sorry; he only acts like this because he is worried about you and is trying to keep you safe" Harry helps me onto the bed gently.

" You do that without yelling at me all the time".

" I don't know what to say to make you feel better, Ed is head strong, he always has been, but he does love you so much, we both do".

" I know that, but I just need some time away from him, just for a bit, I am going to stay in here for now".

" Do you want me to stay with you?".

" No, but could you get me my guitar from your room please and my book from the bedside table".

I watch as Harry leaves the room and I can tell that he is upset with what I said, but I do need some space, everything at the moment is moving at a very fast pace and I just need to slow it down, if that means putting things on hold for a bit with Edward and Harry then I will.

Harry returns with everything I asked and a few extra things and places them by the bed, I feel the bed dip as he sits beside me.

" Anything you need just ask".

I nod my head at him and roll over to face away from him, he places a kiss on my check murmuring he loves me before he leaves the room.

I closed my eyes for a while just enjoying the quite before I get my guitar and start to strum a few chords, I feel like it has been ages since I have picked up my guitar as I  play a couple of my songs , tuning my voice back up, my finger feel a bit stiff after a while from lack of use, My heart feels heavy as I close my eyes and see the look of anguish on Edwards face when I told him that he was the reason I wanted to cut again.

I see lyrics in my head as I quickly start writing them down in my song journal which I carry with me everywhere.

The words roll out like this song had already been written in my head, I scribble them down quickly not missing the changes as they flow so freely.

After a while I look down and read what I have written and I can't believe what I am seeing, it's raw, truthful and full of emotion.

I pick up my guitar and start strumming and humming a melody and I find myself loss in music as my fingers glide across the guitar strings, this is so real, it's some of the best music I have ever written, and I start singing the words I have written.

" Nothing really matters."
" Nothing really Hurts."
" We can talk about it."
"It'll only make it worse."

"There's a time for saying who did what"?
"Where it went wrong I wanna hear it all that"
"But right now, all I need you to know is."

"You'll be ok we can talk tomorrow." 

I stop for a moment and hear a noise and turn to see Harry standing just inside the door.

" Wow Lou that was amazing what is it?".

" I am not quite sure, yet I just wrote it, some of my best fucking work ever, this is going to be special, really special, definitely something I am going to put on my new Album". I say pleased with myself.

"I came to see if you want to eat dinner with us." 

I turn my eyes to the window not realising that it has indeed fallen dark outside.