Fleur-de-lis

eat, drink and despair: Side A

(So first of all, let me apologize for taking so long to update. The holiday season was kicking my ass and I had to prepare for my brother's birthday which was today and I just couldn't focus on writing till now. Now that I'm in a moment of calm, I decides to do two chapters or more like a chapter and a half but I'll try to get back on top of writing. Again...my apologies.)

John's p.o.v

I down another shot to reset the clock on the good time I was having. My feelings would catch up to me eventually but with luck I'll have blacked out by then. Logan and I had decided to go out and pick up a few girls at the clubs once work had ended.

"You know, I have a studio apartment with a nice view." I say to the random girl I had picked up. "You should let me show it to you, sometime."

She smiles and agrees enthusiastically. She had short, dark hair and was short...even in heels. I didn't know her name either but I didn't care for it much...I just needed her to buffer this terrible feeling growing inside of me. I smile at her, my charm being completely uninhibited whenever I was drunk.

"Let's go after this song." I say, taking one more drink.

Darkness starts to creep in as my last shred of awareness succumbs to the alcohol.

(...)

I roll over throwing my arm over the person in bed next to me. In my head I imagine that it's Van, sleeping in his usual place beside me. I slide my hand up their stomach to their chest, bumping into a pair of large breasts. Eyes still closed, I furrow my brow, briefly confused. Realizing that I had momentarily confused dream with reality, I remember that I had picked up a girl last night. Jeez. Did I really bring her back to my place? When had I become the type of man to hop from one one night stand to another? It hardly mattered to think about right now. I should probably be a good host and see if she wanted food.

Sitting up, I rub the sleep from my eyes and let out a loud yawn. I go to tap her awake but recoil in shock as I see that she had long blonde hair. The girl I was with last night didn't have blonde hair.

'Jesus Christ, Johnathan.' I think to myself.

I drag my hands across my face, my dissapointmen in myself immesuarable.

'Fuck. Did I wear a condom?'

I take a deep breath and exhale before going to wake her up. She groans and stirs awake.

"Hey." I say in a hushed tone. "I have to go to work in a few hours, you wanna go out and get something to eat before I drop you off wherever you need to go?"

She stares momentarily, barely able to process my words through the haze of sleep. She slowly nods her head before brushing the hair from infront of her face and letting out a little yawn.

"Cool." I say, getting out of bed and getting dressed, still a little weirded out by the choices drunk me made.