Fleur-de-lis

The right eye

Vanitas' p.o.v.

Lawrence city, the most lgbt inclusive city in kansas, so naturally my family and I were here to protest...an lgbt youth center of all things. I hated myself for even participating in this but I had to be a good boy if didn't want to get "Graced". There's a wall of angry people in front of the center building and they're all shouting or laughing at us. I'd grown so numb to it at this point. People hate me...well yeah I hate myself to. Thanks for participating.

A woman walks up to me. "You're just a kid. How could you be doing this?" She asks, gesturing to my sign that read "FAGS DOOM NATIONS".

I take a deep breath and swallow my pride. "Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire. Jude 1:7." The words taste bitter coming out.

She just shakes her head and I see her faith in humanity die in her eyes.

What was God even? A vengful lord? A forgiving sheppard? An apathetic asshole? How was I supposed to know I prayed to a different version of god seemingly with every new prayer. What if there was no God and we were all just wasting our time.

I sigh. No matter how confused I got, the concept of Atheism never stuck with me. There has to be a God. Every finite point in existence has an infinite reference point, right? rules and measurements that just echo out into the infinite abyss. Infinity makes no sense if all that is real can be observed physically. What defines real? What defines existence? If existence is to be defined, then who or what created the definition?

No matter how you looked at it, matter and life were created through some supernatural occurence. But with all of that in mind, why did that place me here, a fag potesting the the right for gays to even exist? It seemed like everyone was made to be pitted against eachother for seemingly no reason.

I look over at my family. Nick and lilith were holding hands and holding signs that read "one man and one woman". Wiccan and Eve were aggressively passing out buttons with my mother, leaving Azazel, my father and I picketing with our own signs. I sigh...but give a smile. As twisted as it was...I was glad that we were together as a family...that was the little grain of joy in this desert of hatred. I did still love my family.

"Excuse me sir." A voice rings from behind. "Could you spare a minute for a blasphemous heathen such as myself?"

I turn to be greeted my a familar God built blond. "Roman?! What're you doing all the way in Lawrence?" I whisper. "If Zel sees you..."

"I just heard your church was protesting here so I came by to see you." Roman smiles.

"You can't be here." I say nervously.

"Aww. I thought you'd be happy to see me." Roman pouts sarcastically.

I sigh. "I'm always happy to see you."

Roman smiles warmly in response. "You know...school ends in a month. The end of year school dance will be the last easy cover for us to see eachother. We're gonna have to get more creative after that."

"I know." I say somberly. "We'll find a way though."

"I know we will." Roman winks at me before discreetly slipping away before my family noticed.