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i. TITLE & COVER
I can't give a totally impartial view on the title, because I have gone through some of this book prior to this review. Therefore I know that the title is the character's name and not some other play on the word, but I appreciate that there is mystery to the title and what or who it references. As for the cover, it's professional, intriguing and perfectly fits both the genre and story of the book. No problems here.
BLURB
The unfortunate thing about humans is the absolute lack of an attention span the majority of us have. I know you're seeking publishing and therefore catering to an audience slightly more serious about reading what they've picked up, which tempts me to tell you there's nothing wrong with your blurb's length. However, this introduction would've been too much in a bookstore as well, in my opinion. Everything can be cut down, and it's even possible to maintain style and meaning while doing so. I think you need a paragraph or two less. For example, we don't get to the conflict (capturing of Eli) until the fourth paragraph.
In addition, there are a lot of typical words in this blurb: post-apocalyptic, kingdom, homeland, centuries-old war, lord. They are words we see in every science-fiction blurb, ever. From your blurb, I see nothing separating this story from the millions out there. Maybe some people would argue that's just the price of the genre, but I believe originality is beauty. It's hard to get rid of those words entirely, but we can make this blurb stand out a little more, and we do that with my two favourite and most powerful tools: repetition and full-circles.
King Eden is just one legend in an intergalactic fight for freedom, and losing her son is just one awful thing to happen in her war-torn world. The decision to endanger her people and attack the Martians responsible is just one devastating choice of many, and consequences of imprisonment and execution are just the way of a cutthroat world. It's a good thing that she's no stranger to an impossible fight.
After all, there's a reason they call her King Eden.
(I'm breaking my starting with a name rule???? Tari??? It's justified here because King's name in itself is a hook and also most likely to throw readers for a loop off the bat)
So I've dramatically shortened the blurb here--perhaps over-shorted it--to prove that it actually does still convey all essential information in a fifth of the word count. I've also done a full-circle ending that readers tend to love, as well as used repetition to enhance the absolute dire situation King is entering and give it some oomph. omfph? oomf? You know what I mean.
Your current blurb is well-organized and very academic, so in short, I just think it needs some personality and creativity to get it really good. Obviously, mine is written in my tone and very short, so it's just something to get you thinking about possibilities.
