To say the very least, your cover is extremely basic. It's a grainy image (extra grainy, even for Wattpad's terrible resolution) with some text thrown at the top. The lack of effort is very evident, and that's going to turn a lot of readers away immediately. The font is lacking in any kind of awe-factor, and you can hardly read your author's name at the top.
Now, I know all that was a bit brutal, but your cover has obvious flaws. And you don't have to be a photoshop pro to make a few little changes. Like I said before, readers immediately pick up on the little things like attention to detail, and with your cover there's hardly any detail at all. I like the general concept, and by that I mean the two love-interests in the middle, but it's all just very monochrome. There's no other elements to it, and again, it's super fuzzy. There are plenty of free images on the internet similar to this one, and countless resources you could use to access better fonts. I'm not going to give a spill about cover making, because I personally can't do it myself, so keep in mind the various graphic shops on Wattpad that can make you a cover. (Dreamland has one as well.)
Blurb - 8/10
A refreshing change from the cover, your blurb almost completely restored my faith in this book. It too had some flaws, but was good enough to keep my attention, and as a reader, it would definitely make me want to check out your story. All that being said, it is a bit on the slower side, so you could work on adding some mystery or tension, and there are a few elements that just seem repetitive. For example, you say, "He's the moon to her stars. They complement each other so well." This example is a bit redundant. Using the metaphor about the moon and stars is meant to take the place of the next sentence. They mean the same thing, so there's no reason to say it again.
The rest of it I found really nice. It has a soft, gentle flow that fits the genre well, and gives readers a nice preview as to what's to come. Well done!
Chapter 1: 8/10
I admire your first sentence. A good description is always a great way to start a story, but I do feel like yours is a little bit generic. Until you get to the pupsnext paragraph, there are so many places where your character could be, so there's definitely some opportunity to make it more unique. For example, you could describe feeling that breeze coming from the window, despite it being only slightly open. Or you could compare it to the sound of the office's AC, or compare the earthy scent to the artificial one in the room. There are so many opportunities for a great start here!
I do like how you linger on the changing seasons a bit in the next couple paragraphs, it ties well to your opening and the dreary mood of your character. I also like the other little details that really helped convey how uninterested Harley is in this session.
Another suggestion I have is regarding the length of your paragraphs. As I'm sure you know, most books, especially traditionally published ones, have much longer paragraphs. Something about Wattpad makes it easier to break your paragraphs into much smaller chunks, and short ones are quite common. I'm not usually picky on the length of sentences or paragraphs, but I just think that yours are extremely short. It can almost mess up the flow, having a break between every sentence or two, so definitely consider grouping more together, especially ones that relate to each other. There should really only be a new paragraph when a new is introduced or your other paragraph is just extremely long. Just something to keep in mind.
The rest of the therapy session is written so well. I love Harley's thoughts weaving in and out as this doctor, who doesn't truly understand, tried to get her to talk about her feelings. It's so relatable, even to readers who wouldn't know the circumstances Harley is going through. And finally, when we reach the diagnosis, we finally get some answers. I've personally never heard of AvPD, but am curious to see how it further affects Harley and how you represent it.
I feel like you also conveyed Silas' personality well, even without getting to know him yet. I can already expect some conflict to arise because of his faulty conclusion that what Harley has isn't "that bad".
What follows is a skimming description of some of the daily aspects of Harley's life. Though this information probably isn't drastically important to the story, I feel like you could have elaborated a lot more on some of the events, and not spent so much time saying why she hated certain things like running or the bus, and instead shown it.
As we get to the school, I feel the list of "famous types of people" that intended the school is a little bit unnecessary. I would also like to know more about how Harley got into this prestigious school, but I do like the fact that Harley has a special talent in photography, and hope to see it a lot more as a sort of escape in her life as the story progresses.
I immediately loved how you used it to introduce a new character, and loved the description you gave him, as well as the way Harley stresses out and always thinks of the worst case scenario.
The end of the chapter seemed a little rushed, and I would've liked a little more time to see where things were going with the two. I also find it a little bit odd that Harley goes from barely saying her name to making sarcastic comments, but maybe that's the way her confidence works. I just think it would really benefit the story to slow this part down, and really take some time to develop the start of this relationship.
Along the lines of grammar, I thought it was pretty spot on. There were a few places where sentences were run-ons or lacked the right punctuation, but that can be fixed with a quick proof-read.
Chapter 2: 7/10
I like the strong contrast we see between Harley and Parker in the next chapter, but find it a little strange that she's so infatuated with him immediately. I feel like it might be a little more believable if she wanted to forget the whole thing, forget that she's almost made a friend. In a way, you do this, with Harley dreading him coming over, but again, it feels odd that she's once again unable to speak when she'd made such good progress with him before.
I can really feel how closed off she is as she and Parker talk outside of the bathrooms. She keeps wanting to shut down the conversation, and is perfectly awkward at the same time. I am glad, though, that you took this chance to answer a question that was in the back of my mind as well. Why was he trying to be friends with her, especially now? I think you did a great job at explaining this.
I especially loved the conclusion, and how Harley is still hesitant to open up, despite Peter's pushing, and finally his promise to make her smile.
I honestly liked the longer chapter better, and felt that this one was a little short and rushed. A lot more detail could've been placed in certain parts of this chapter and created a more immersive read.
Overall: 8.5/10
All in all, I think you have a great story here. There are a few aspects that need work, but I loved the plot and your characters. If you can keep at it the way the first two chapters are, slowly building this relationship between Harley and Parker, but also remembering to focus Harley's struggles, it'll make a unique story with really great writing.
Final Notes:
I can't wait to read more! I really loved your writing style and the way the story was headed. Some proofreading is definitely needed, but there were so many good things about your story that I couldn't list them all. As for my few critiques, keep in mind that they are only my opinion, and can hopefully help you improve a couple things. Let me know if you have any questions!
