Hydra's Widow

Chapter Eight

"Have any nightmares?" Barton asked me, while he was sat on the couch across from me. 

"No," I lied. Of course, Barton couldn't have spotted the lie that I just signed. I knew I had a chance at being caught when Loki walked in the room. 

He looked at me before he looked at Barton. I shook my head at Loki. He gave me a questionable look, before he looked at my book I was reading. Instead of intervening he simply walked pass the living room into the kitchen. 

"That's good. I'm teaching the others some simple signs to help with communication."

"Thank-you," I told Barton. 

So far, the only ones that had try to communicate to me were Wanda, Natasha, Stark, and Dr. Banner, but they soon gave up as the only way they could have talk to me was through a notepad. Barton and Loki were the only ones that actually talked directly to me. Mostly so far Barton would translate what the others were saying that was I could participate in their conversations. 

Translating only does so much, sometimes I do wish I could hear voices and people. The only voice I know is Loki's. Telepathic communication is a complicated way of talking. I could only imagine the power and energy it took to do that kind of magic.  

Barton finally left the room, leaving me alone with my book in hand. The Avengers has been trying to help me feel like I belong, but to be honest, it was hard to be here. I didn't belong here. I tortured people, that didn't sound like a hero. 

I shook that out of my head as I continue my book. 

The words to describe Asgard's beauty is impossible. The golden palace, the rainbow bridge that shines bright even in the darkest days that Asgard has seen. The great battle that will occur someday will destroy that beauty. But for now, Asgard will remain the place for the Gods and the brave to drink, party, and relax after a long day of ruling. 

--End of summary

I closed the book once more. 'That was just the summary?' I asked in my head. 'That realm must be nice to visit someday' I thought, letting out a sigh relaxing into the couch. 

The air suddenly changed from soft to tense. I felt a presence behind me, I grabbed the person's wrist, twisting it forcefully. I flipped myself around, not paying attention to who it was. I kicked them in the abdomen, making them hunch over. I tried to hook my leg around theirs, but they knew what I was doing, so they grabbed my hand and my arm, pinning it behind my back, but not enough to hurt me. Why? Why didn't they want to harm me? 

I turned my head slightly to see the aggressor. I felt horror filled my body once more as I made eye contact with a green eye god, Loki. The one that came into my room last night. The one that I told to leave, the one that was trying to comfort me, and I turned him away.  

'What has gotten into you?' he asked me, using telepathy. His voice seemed to be filled with concern.  He let go of my arm, stepping away from me. 

'What?' I asked him. 'What do you mean?' I responded the same way he did. 

'You're terrified,' he replied. 'You go into flight or fight when someone approaches...'

'Why do you think, Loki?' I asked him. 'Having to watch my back every time someone entered a room, every time someone touched me—I've said too much,' I gave out too much on my past, why would I have done that? Why couldn't I have kept that to myself? He looked to be getting ready to say something else. 'I got to go,' I said trying to rush off. He stopped me by walking in front of me and making a sudden stop. Of course, he was cut off by the light flickering. 

I looked to the kitchen to see Barton. "Natahsa wanted me to tell you that tonight is movie night, if you would like to pick something out?" he asked me, through the use of sign language. I saw her sitting in a dinning chair, doing something on her laptop. 

"It's fine, I'll watch what you pick," I replied, getting ready to turn around until I remember one question, I wanted to ask him, "Captions?" he nodded. I started walking away, but I was stopped by him on the way out of the main room. 

"I know you were lying earlier." 

'Sh!t.'

"Let me guess, Loki?" 

"Spy," he signed. "You really think I needed him to find out?" I shook my head sheepishly. "I understand why you kept that from me, but we all have nightmares," he admitted. "If you ever want to talk, my room is always open," I gave him a smile. "One more thing, you have training tomorrow." 

Training, the one thing that kept me sane when in cells, the one thing that gotten me out of the cells. I used to rely heavily on training, but now? How will I perform? 

It also made me wonder how I had gotten here. An ex-Hydra assassin, now living with the Avengers, in their compound. It spikes a question I hadn't had since I first came here, 'am I still the villain?'

 James did, but yet again, I'm not him, James was brainwashed, me? I'm still dealing with my inner demons; he seemed to be fine. 

Of course, not that I would have known, he hasn't spoken a word towards me ever since the first day here.  Maybe I should go leave a note, or at least knock, maybe talk to him? Or at least wave? No, that will never happen, I'll just go back onto the couch. 

That didn't happen, I'm not sitting on the couch, I'm standing outside James' door. I raised my fist to knock on the door, but it opened.