Hydra's Widow

Chapter Twenty-One

!Warning! Suicide thoughts, mentions, actions, descriptions. If you need help please contact suicide prevention hotline in your country or my private chat is always open for people who are struggling.  

Barton was mostly translating, since Banner was mostly focused on me. Barton was signing everything that Banner was saying. They thought it was another form of the super soldier serum, but it was a lighter, and thicker than the serum. My senses started to cloud as the sentence that Barton signed next after James talked to him. 

"Bucky thinks it may be their experiment that they have been working on?" he gave a questionable look to James, I suppose it was to check the information, but there was no need, I knew what he was talking about. 

'They did it, they did it.' 

Years ago, they tried to make a serum that could alter one's mind instead of using mind-wiping. All they would have to do was say words and they would be there—forever.  All the experiments they did failed, I wasn't concerned at that time. I guess I should have been, maybe if I paid more attention I could have known. 

I looked to James, who finally took a seat beside me. 

"I'm scared," I admitted slyly to him. His eyes softened, he then nodded. "I don't know what to do," I continued, with fear in my signing, I felt water build behind my eyes, I refused them to pass any further. James reluctantly pulled me into a hug. I pulled him closer to me. In that moment I didn't care who was looking, I needed someone to grab onto. He never let me go.

I felt the rumble in the jet, the vibrations went up my legs. Only then I allowed myself to show some emotion by letting my tears leave my eyes. I could feel a soothing hand rubbing gentle big circles on my back. I wanted nothing more than just me sitting in that glass cell. I wanted them to be safe, I wanted them to say, "You are a monster." I just...wanted to be done. I was drained, I was mentally struggling, physical too. It was paining me to cry, to sob. I wanted the pain to be over. 

Death would have been better, how peaceful death sounded. James had a knife in his jacket, maybe if I could just reach it...I moved ever so slightly. I nearly got near his pocket, while pretending to get comfortable. Once my hand was just about to reach into the pocket, I felt a warm hand grab mine. I looked ever so slightly to my right to see Barton standing over us. He shook his head, as his face expresses a face of surprise and betrayal. He dropped my hand. I waited until he was gone to try once more. 

This time I felt hands on my arm and my hand, commanding me to stand. James looked confused until Wanda came over, his face turned to sadness. They all looked at me, some looking with pity, while others looked with horror, but they still kept a vice grip on my arm. The stares seemed to cease as Banner came over to me with what seemed to be a metal bracelet. Wanda's eyes followed mine to the bracelet, she walked away with her gaze dropping to the ground. 

"Please!" I begged him. I wanted this to end, I wanted nothing more to fall into the abyss that was death. Would death have mercy on me?

As Banner walked to me, I tried to pull away, but to no avail. Banner secured the device around my wrist. The others left me, I would cry again, the truth is I had none. I had no tears, all that was left was my rage. The anger that Hydra taught me. The rage that kept me alive, that kept me fighting, I wish that was gone, the fight that ran out. 

Moments later I was in a corner—where I felt most safe. That was true, but when Banner powered walked to me, that's when everything came back. He had a syringe in his right hand. I started to back more into the corner. The two magic users came over to us. Wanda's eyes turned a red color. I went through mind tricks, not again. I tried to avoid their eyes, that didn't matter. Why did I not know?

I felt a light shock in the metal device, it didn't hurt, it did however make me jolt. I tried to scream, to yell, but either they couldn't hear me, or they ignored me. Wanda used to magic to subdue me, I had a fait red glow around my wrists keeping me bound to the wall behind me. I could see the remorse in her eyes. Loki stood behind her, watching me and her every move. 

Banner took the syringe and injected it into a vein in my arm. I cringed at the felling of the needle. I felt fait vibrations on the floor, it could have been that we were in the air, but that wasn't the case as I see James out of the corner of my eye. He crouched to my level, making eyes contact with me. 

"Eyes on me," he commanded. I looked up, focusing on his eyes. He kept nodding in reassurance. Every time I went to watch Banner, he would gently push my head back to him. 

When Banner finished his work, he walked slowly away from me. When Banner was far enough away, Wanda lowered her magic, both Wanda and Loki went to whatever they wanted to do. I tried standing up, it was fine, until it wasn't. 

My head started spinning, my vision clouded. The room started fading to black. My legs felt almost like jelly, I wanted to give in to the feeling. How peaceful it would be to succumb to the darkness. Just as I was going to try to resist, my legs collapsed from under me. Before I could make contact with the floor a force caught me. As I fought to keep my eyes from closing, I saw James' eyes look into mine. I couldn't fight anymore; I finally allowed my eyes to close. 

A/N- Coming to a close soon, if you all want, I will do a second book, or I will turn this into a long fic, or I could just end it. Ya'll has full control over the ending/beginning of Phoenix's story. Please let me know it helps me out so much!

Also wanted to thank all of you for the views, votes, comments and just for being here! You all mean so much to me as you all are the ones that are helping me in my writing journey!

Try to have a great night/day!