Gorgeous

Chapter 12

Vera pov...

They sit me down to eat and i take a few bites to make them happy. I watch them eat thinking it is not fair... As Chris and Scarlet eat and talk i keep quiet i am not even listening... Not knowing what to say and thinking about what i am going to say later... How it is better that Chris goes home and to just end this... Whatever it is... 

But as much as i think about it i can't find the words. I sit there between them feeling so small.... And i chuckle at the irony. The big girl feeling small. They both look at me and i shake my head. I can't help but think that someone as Scarlet is so much better suited for Chris... Someone skinny and beautiful... I still have no idea what made him choose me and i dont think i want to know... It would only make it more difficult. I get of the stool not wanting to look at my food anymore and i throw it away. 

I excuse myself to go to the toilet and walk off. I sigh as i walk into my bathroom closing the door behind me locking it. I sigh and sit down putting my head in my hands. I am not ready for what is to come... I dont want to say goodbye... God why is this so hard why am i so conflicted. Why can't i be rational and just tell Chris to go... That it is better for the both of us. Why am i dragging this out...I take a deep breath and put on my poker face... It was time to rip the band aid off...

I walk into the kitchen and Scarlet and Chris both look at me. I take another deep breath. 

"Look... I get why you two are here... And i am sorry for making you both worry... But i will be fine... So, you guys can go home now... You 2 must have better things to do than babysit me." I say looking at my feet. 

"What no...!" Chris says looking at me panicked and i look back at him. He looks hurt and the pain on his face cuts me deep but i have to stand firm. I sigh and walk over to Chris. I put my hand on his cheek and he leans into my touch. "Chris... I can't have you destroy everything you worked for so hard... I care about you too much for you to throw everything away over someone like me..." I say softly rubbing his cheek fighting my own tears as i wipe his away with my thumb. 

"No..." He says wrapping his arms around me and not letting me go and i can't resist going through his hair with my fingers... "Vera dont do this..." Scarlet says looking at me worried. I look at her and sigh. "I have to let him go... It is for his own good..." I whisper a tear rolling down my face. 

"Please gorgeous... I can't lose you..." Chris says looking up at me with tears in his eyes. I sigh as he is not making it easy... And all i want to do is wrap him in my arms and tell him that i won't let him go. 

"Vera listen to me..." Scarlet says standing up and i look at her while Chris still clings onto me. "I know the article hurt... I know all the comments on Twitter hurt... But dont let those assholes dictate your life... Fuck them... You are amazing... You are beautiful and God you deserve to be happy and i can see that Chris makes you happy... You care about him so much that you are willing to let him go just to protect him although that is bullshit. Dont let those assholes win..." She says and pulls out her phone. 

She scrolls through it and pulls up a picture showing it to me. It is a picture from the barbeque, and it is Chris and i hugging looking at each other with the biggest smiles on our faces. "Look at it..." Scarlet demands and i look at the picture... "Those are two people who have a connection... and that is rare... to have that immediately... You can't throw that away... where is the girl who knows how to fight..." Scarlet says getting louder and louder. 

I have to fight my tears as she is now yelling at me. Chris is still holding onto me, and it is getting overwhelming. I am fighting my emotions... I am fighting not to cry... But i am so tired of fighting my emotions and feelings. I lean my head against Chris his chest and i start to cry... "Please stop..." I whisper. 

Chris cups my face making me look at him. "Gorgeous... Listen to me..." Chris whispers. "I dont care what people say... Dating you will have no effect on my career... That is ridiculous... That article saying that is just to trick people into reading it... To get likes and make money... I will put a statement on Twitter calling people out for their behavior... I will do whatever it takes..." He says kissing me through my tears. 

"He is not the only one who will call people out on their behavior..." Scarlet says and shows me her phone again. "Chris and i are not the only once who are disgusted by what happened." Scarlet says giving me a little smile. 

I read through a list of people agreeing to put out a statement on Twitter. Most of them were on the party. I look at her phone in shock. The people agreeing are most of their Marvel costars... A few from Colins SNL friends who were at the party. I am now fully sobbing and bury my head again in Chris his chest clinging onto him as he was now standing wrapping his arms around me and rubbing my back kissing the top of my head. 

I dont know what to say anymore... I am numb... i am so confused and conflicted and i feel pathetic that all i can do is cry...