Pretty Boy: Dean Winchester x Reader

Chapter 17:

If I really cared about Dean then I had to end this before going after this thing. It hurt my heart to even think about leaving Dean behind, but it hurt more to think about something bad happening to him. I obviously couldn't tell him the truth about my plan. He was so selfless he would help me even if he knew it put him in danger. That was one of the reasons I loved him so much. I felt my eyes well up with tears as I thought about how much I missed his touch... his scent... the way he looked at me. I would miss the way he stared at me when he thought I wasn't looking, the way his lips felt against mine, the way he made me feel, even the way he fought. I loved the way he spoke, the way he looked, the way he tasted. I loved everything about him. Absolutely everything. What I loved the most though, was the way we interacted. I lived for the dynamic. Both of us constantly swapping between joking at each other's expense and sharing little intimate moments. I lived for the constant banter and the exchanging of loving glances and sweet kisses. Sex with him always proved the best sex of my life. He knew how to please me in ways no one else did. I also assumed the inverse was true, me knowing how to please him as well.

"What are you thinking about?" Dean asked. I looked over at him, seeing him staring at the road.

"What?" I asked.

"The only reason you stop yapping for 5 minutes is because you're thinking about something, so what is it?" He asked. I smiled to myself. I was going to miss this so much.

"I- I don't know, I think we should talk..." I murmured, looking out my window, seeing him pull onto our road. My road. It was my road. Not ours... not anymore.

"...About?" Dean asked, glancing over at me.

"About us..." I murmured. Dean pulled into my driveway and parked, looking over at me.

"Okay, go ahead." He prompted.

"I think we should talk inside..." I murmured, getting out of the car. Dean followed my lead, getting to the door before me and unlocking it. We went into my home, the air suddenly feeling hostile and unwelcoming. Dean placed my keys down on the end table, and we both shrugged off our coats. I wasn't sure if I should let him sit down first, but I ultimately settled on just ripping off the bandaid. Dean looked down at me expectantly. "Dean..." I murmured.

"Yes?" He asked, I felt my mouth go dry.

"I- I think we should break up." I murmured. I saw his face fall immediately.

"What?" He asked, searching my face for an answer.

"I- I'm sorry, I just- I don't think I can do this... anymore..." I said.

"You don't want to be with me?" Dean asked.

"I- I- Of course I do! I just-" I felt tears streaming down my face. Dean looked down at the floor. I wondered momentarily what he was doing as I watched him get on his knees.

"You asked me before if I would kneel for you and I told you the answer was yes..." Dean said, staring up at me. He took my hand and I bit my lip, trying to stop strangled sobs from coming out. "I love you more than anyone else." Dean said.

"Dean, please don't do this..." I murmured, squeezing his hand.

"I'm sorry if I did anything-"

"Dean, stop." I begged, "Please..." Dean bowed his head and stood. I stared up into his beautiful green eyes. I placed a hand on his cheek gently. "I'm so sorry..." I murmured, watching tears fall from his eyes. He leaned in, pressing his lips to mine one last time. I felt our salty tears mix on our lips. I pulled back, leaning my forehead on his.

"I should uh- I should call Sam. He'll come pick me up after he and Bobby finish up their case." Dean murmured.

"O- okay." I murmured, looking up into his eyes again. I wanted to kiss him again so badly, but I didn't want to make things more awkward than they already were. I closed my eyes as he pulled away and headed to the guest room. As soon as he was out of my line of vision, I let my tears fall. I headed to my room, closing the door behind me and sitting on my bed, I looked around the empty room as I laid down. The pillow smelled like him. I clung to it, as I wailed. I didn't know when, but at some point, I fell asleep.