Six months to live (ZhanYi)

7

Wang, Mr. Lee, called my name. I raise my head to look at him and he was alone. Fear gripped my heart. But Cheng said I could see Zhan ge. Or is he still upset with me?

"Please come with me," he said, and my heart lightened a little.

"I filled in my name, who am visiting, and my phone number." When I finished Mr. Lee gestured for me to follow him with his hand.

I followed him through the wide hallway with random doors on the sides, all leading to rooms that aren't cells but visitors' rooms with a lot of families and kids. People sobbing here and there and I felt my heart drop to my stomach, my legs became heavy. Did something happen to Zhan ge? We get to the end of the hall where there's a door.

"You can go in, I will get Zhan," Mr. Lee said and walked away.

I walked in and sat on a chair, picking my nails and biting my bottom lip. I got to see most of the prison. It's nothing special. It's worn down and tired looking. I wish I could just come in and paint all of the rooms to liven up the place a bit.

I can feel myself becoming anxious, but not so sure if I will be able to hide it from Zhan ge. I try to calm myself down by counting my breaths and tapping my fingers, but I feel like it only makes it worse so I sit still and wait.

The door finally opened. Zhan ge and a guard, I haven't met yet walkthrough. Zhan ge's facial expressions show that he's tired, that he clearly just wants to be left alone. The guard uncuffed him and he left us alone.

I take a breath and quietly sigh, going over my rehearsed words one more time in my head before I spoke.

"Zhan ge, I'm sorry about last time," I say, feeling like an apology is due. "I shouldn't have said what I said," I couldn't even look him in the eye.

Zhan ge doesn't say anything, he doesn't even look at me.

"I don't want you to think I'm trying to make you feel bad about yourself or that I don't respect you as much as I would respect anyone else.

Zhan ge continues to stay quiet and it gets me worried that maybe Zhan ge shut down. That I went too far and now Zhan ge won't even talk to me.

"I don't look at you any differently, than I do everyone else, I do-"

"Just stop," Zhan ge finally says. It's quiet and there's no force to his voice. "It's fine, don't worry about it."

I look at Zhan ge who still hasn't made eye contact. My heart breaks for him. Zhan ge if I could take back what happened I would. "I-I don't want you to shut down." He doesn't respond.

"Zhan ge please," I say, not knowing if I'd be able to forgive myself if Zhan ge stopped talking to me. If I ruined everything before it even started.

"Wang, it's fine. I'm not shutting down. I'm just not in the mood, okay?"

I take a deep breath, I don't know what to do or say. "Okay, yeah sure. Um, do-do they have cameras in here?"

Zhan ge looks up. "What?"

"Do they have cameras installed in the rooms?" I repeat.

Zhan ge shrugs. "How the fuck should I know?"

I look at the light behind him and then back to Zhan ge.

"Well, I hope there are none because I brought you something." I reach into my pocket and pull out a plastic bag that has fries inside of it. I slide the bag over to a very confused Zhan ge.

"What is this?" He asks, not touching the bag, just eyeing it.

"Fries and barbecue chicken from the restaurant For you to eat." Zhan ge just stares at the bag.