Six months to live (ZhanYi)

24

It didn't feel real as he walked through the prison halls for the second time that day.
He couldn't feel anything and he knew he was dissociated from reality because when he arrived at Zhan's cell door, Yibo couldn't remember anything about the walk there.

He was cold, his whole body was cold. The inside too. He felt empty and in some way as if his soul had just left. He felt like an abandoned building.

He didn't even snap out of it when the door was opened and Zhan was standing in front of him. He didn't snap out of it when Zhan said his name either. It took Zhan shaking him a bit to really wake him up, and even then, Yibo felt that a part of him was still gone. No, not just a part, all of him.

"Booo?"

"Hi," Yibo says, looking up to Zhan.

He wasn't crying. He didn't know why. He should've been. It made no sense for him not to be. He just... wasn't.

"Are you alright?" Zhan asks.

Yibo shakes his head and walks into the cell, Zhan following behind him. "No."

"Yeah," Zhan says, knowing there's not much he could say or do to fix anything.
"Me either."

Yibo doesn't say anything as he climbs onto Zhan's bed and sits down. Zhan follows suit and gets situated right next to Yibo.

"I love you," Yibo says quietly. "I love you so much. Zhan ge, if you asked me to marry you right now, I would say yes. I would throw everything away for you. I just wanted to say that. To let you know that I will always love you."

Yibo finally starts to get a bit more choked up. He still doesn't shed a tear, despite everything he's feeling. Despite how he really really should be crying, he doesn't.

Zhan takes Yibo's hand in his and holds it tight. "I love you too. So much. I'm so happy I met you, Boo. I want to tell you too though... I'm scared, who wouldn't be?
It's not natural for the human body to just accept death. Impossible, really. So I'm not saying I have, or that I'm at peace with it. I'm not. I haven't slept in three days, I've barely eaten, everything you'd expect. But when I think about you, and the last six months, all the bad go away.

"I want you to be able to have closure. I don't know exactly how I can help with that, but it helps me at least, knowing that I'm telling you this. I've never been one to believe in fate and soulmates, but I am now...I guess what I'm saying is that I haven't accepted death physically, but I've accepted that with everything that happens, there's an end, but just because this is ours, doesn't mean everything is gone. The story is still there, it always will be. You can go back and read it as many times as you want, sure, it may not be as exciting as the first time, but it's there."

Once Zhan finish speaking, Yibo takes a deep breath and collects his thoughts. It was hard hearing Zhan talk so calmly about it. Not because he wanted Zhan to not be calm, but because it meant that it was real. So real.

"Yeah... I guess I've never thought about that. In that way, I mean."

"It's um, it's hard to think about, and to talk about, but I need to," Zhan says, also seeming to be a little choked up.

"What I said didn't make much sense, but I think what I mean is that just because our story has a sad ending doesn't mean the story itself is sad. Ours is happy, really."

Yibo nods to himself, his eyes a bit watery, but still, he wasn't crying. He even had a small smile on his face. "It is. I can't think of a single moment where I wasn't happy being with you."

Zhan looks at Yibo and gives a warm smile. A genuine smile. "It'll be okay. Really, it will."

Yibo squeezes Zhan's hand that he was still holding. "I think so too."

And for the first time in a while, Yibo really meant that. He's not sure what changed exactly, but something did. He felt as if some sort of weight was lifted off of him.

A knock was heard and both boys snapped back into reality. Zhan's cell door was being opened and a guard walked in. "It's time," he said.

Yibo knew that this moment was going to come. That really, he was lucky to even be able to see Zhan again before it happened. He probably wasn't even supposed to, but he didn't care.

"Can we have like five more minutes, please?" Zhan managed to say.

"Fine."

As the guard shut the door once again, Yibo felt his heart pounding. It was so fast that it almost hurt. Everything hit him all at once. All the emotions that he should've been feeling earlier.

After seeing Zhan for the first time that day, he thought maybe he got all of his crying out and he was just empty, but the tears running down his face said otherwise.

"C'mon," Zhan says, pulling at Yibo to get off the bed.

Yibo does just that until he and Zhan are both standing up. Zhan immediately pulls Yibo into a tight hug. He could feel Zhan's heart beating as well.

"It's okay, remember? We'll be okay," Zhan says. It was clear he was crying too.'

Yibo couldn't speak, he just clung onto Zhan without saying anything. He forced himself to stop dissociating for a minute and really take it all in and in that moment, he felt a wave of pure love rush through him. As if he was reviving all the things Zhan felt for him.

"I love you," Zhan says.

"I love you too," Yibo manages to say back, without hesitation.

When they pull apart, their eyes are red and their cheeks are damp. They stare at each other for a moment before Zhan leans down and kisses Yibo's forehead.

"Alright guys, it's time now," the guard says, opening the door once again. Zhan nods and looks at Yibo one more time before walking over to the guard.

"Okay son," the guard says to Yibo, "Mr Lee is waiting in the main hall, he and one of the executioners will take you down to the execution room."

Yibo physically cringes at the word execution, but forces himself to nod. The guard and Zhan start to walk out of the cell, leaving Yibo to himself. As soon as Zhan was out of sight, Yibo began to cry again.

Somehow he forces himself to walk out and down to the main hall, where Mr Lee was waiting, holding the stuffed lion Zhan had given Yibo earlier.

Mr. Lee didn't say anything as the executioner, who was a middle aged woman, led them down the hall.

"Now, Zhan will be hanged for medical reasons which I'm sure you're aware of.
This means that in the room, instead of a bed where an inmate would usually be injected, there will be a more modern looking gallows or scaffold," she explains.
Neither Yibo nor Mr. Lee respond, so the lady continues.