Six months to live (ZhanYi)

8

My heartbeat speeds up when I think of Zhan ge. I smile anytime the thought of seeing him pops into my head. It's Friday today. I'm not wearing makeup or lens.

I know what will happen to Zhan ge, I know it could never work. Zhan ge is in prison, it's just not realistic. Yet I can't stop imagining us together. I'm so attached to Zhan ge and when the time comes, I'm not sure how well I will handle it.

Zhan ge could definitely work if he were in a normal situation. I love him a lot. I already have that indescribable feeling of need for him.

Needing to help Zhan, needing to be there for him, needing to hug him, needing to make him smile. I want Zhan ge to be free so badly that it hurts.

"The unknown is scary as shit, and what comes after death is the ultimate unknown."

When I finished dressing. I walked out of our apartment and into Mr. Han's car.

Once I got to the prison, I did the usual check-in and signed at the counter with a lady I have never seen before. Despite the the gloomy atmosphere, I started to enjoy coming here.

A guard walked me through and he stopped in front of a different door this time.

"You can go in,'' he said and left.

"Thank you" I open the door and walk in. I saw Zhan ge lying on the bed flat on his back with his eyes closed. I notice that he is very attractive and I think about how he would probably be able to use his looks to persuade a lot of people if he wasn't in his current situation.

I just sat on the edge of the bed and watch him sleep.

"See something you like?" he asks, startling me.

Yes, I smiled and lay beside him on the bed, turning my back to him and he engulfs me in his embrace.

I brought a book for you. Mr. Lee will give you later. I said, kissing his hand.

"What is it about?" he asked.

"I'm not telling you that. Just read it. I really think you'll like it if you read it all
the way through." I said.

"Well, thank you," Zhan ge says, a small smile on his face as he kisses the back of my neck. Sending shivers down my spine.

"After you read it, I want to talk about it. I think it's something that creates a good
conversation."

"Okay, that's fine. I mean, probably." he said.

I chuckle.

"Yeah it uh, you won't like some of the things it says, I didn't, but promise you'll read it all the way through?"

Zhan ge nods. "Promise."

"Pinky promise?" I ask, holding my pinkie out to Zhan ge.

Zhan ge shakes his head with a grin on his face, sticking his pinky out and looping it together with mine. "Pinky promise."

"Okay good," I say, I noticed Zhan ge's hair is exceptionally fluffy today and his skin is really clear, glowing almost

"You look really good today," I said.

"Are you saying I don't look good everyday?" Zhan ge asks dramatically, playing the role of someone whose ego is too small for their good.

"No, you look good every day but today you look extra good." I turned to face him.

Zhan ge smirks, his gaze lingering on me. "Thank you," he says.

"You're welcome. Now compliment me back so I feel special." I whined.