⨯ ﹒ ✦ 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝙲𝙴𝚁𝙽𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 - ALHAITHAM x F!Reader. [END✔ ]

8. The Goodbye Letters.

!NOTE! Mentions of  drugs, death, loneliness, breakdowns. 

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My Dearest Y/n, 

I know you were in a hurry that morning for your mission but there was something that I deeply wished to talk with you about. I am not an ideal mother. I haven't showered you with much love but rather I have troubled you for years, have I not? I made you want to take up jobs that was physically tiring you and didn't pay any heed to your wishes as a child to study and take up the job of a scholar. 

Everyday, when I sit by this window on a soft bed, staring at the endless city of Sumeru, I cannot feel but charged guilty. Despite whatever happened back then, you never abandoned me. You never let go of your dreams despite me not there to support you. 

Truth be told, I don't want to make this letter any more emotional or sad for you. The reason why I write this is because I feel like....maybe one day, I'll fly away from the branch of tree in a blink of an eye, just like how birds do. You may never find me ever again no matter how much you try.

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As Y/n was keenly reading this, She heard a bird get off the branch and thrust it's wings forward to fly. The tips of the wings kept cutting the air as the bird swiftly began flying away. One of it's feathers slowly descended on to Y/n's head. She gently took the feather out from her hair.

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I have no courage to face you and tell this, eye to eye. Which is why I asked Tighnari to pen a letter down for me in my stead. My realization only hit after you left Sumeru City for your work that this was indeed a matter that I should say directly to you and not through him.

My Eleazar has spread all over me in a far more advanced rate than it had ever been. I'm on a lot of medicines and my body hurts, Y/n. I tried my best to hide it from you and I'm glad that I succeeded in doing so. I don't know how much longer I can keep holding myself from this curse but I desperately want to keep holding on till you return back from your work. At least then, I'll have a little more time to spend beside you. 

Tighnari says that his medicines won't have much effect in a while's time. I write this in case I don't make it till you return. So here's my words;

Please take care of yourself. Eat lots, sleep more often than working overtime, You are perfect the way you are as Y/n and not Scholar Y/n. Don't try becoming someone else for the sake of other matters my child. Make sure you take care of yourself before anything else. 

Words won't express how sorry or desperate I may sound right now. You have all the rights to be happy if I'm gone forever as I would lessen your burden but if you ever feel the sense of grief, sadness or even loneliness because this old mother of yours left you, then please remind yourself that I am always by your side. Even if you won't see me, I promise to look after you. 

Your loving Mother.

Once Y/n completed reading the letter, tears began rolling down her cheeks. She tried to hold her breath in and stop crying hoping that the letter was just a little warning but still she kept reading those motivational lines her mother kept insisting to follow.

After noticing another note in the envelope, her hands were trembling. Y/n mustered her courage up and slowly pulled the note out. As she opened the neatly folded letter, she realized it was Tighnari's letter.

Y/n.

I am sorry to inform you that your mother is no....

Before Y/n completely read the paper, she crushed it and threw it away. Her crying was completely uncontrollable. Tears kept rolling down and her breaths were irregular. She brought her knees closer to her and kept crying.

 Hearing her sniffs and sobs, Alhaitham did nothing but stand there. He didn't know what to do but somewhere deep within him, he was feeling bad.It made him want to reflect his own life, yet he never imagined a day would come where the woman who had challenged him the most at Akademiya would have such a pure feeble heart. 

"So that...that is the feeling of losing someone close to you. The feeling of grief and loneliness." He thought in his head as he was completely new to this feeling. Perhaps he never remembered such feelings as it was a long time ago that he lost someone like she did. 

He kept glancing over from where he stood at Y/n. 

"Y/n. You need to stop crying. The cycle of life and death both are something that you cannot control. Something like this is expected to happen..." Alhaitham loudly said so that Y/n could hear it.

"You don't....you don't know how it feels at all Alhaitham!" Y/n kept crying over and over.

"I don't. But I do know that the woman who is 'crying' before me was the same woman who boldly came across a lot of things in life. So I know even if I cannot, you surely can endure such things." 

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END

a/n : No because why do I feel bad for Y/n being all alone in this world now.... Also may make up a past for Alhaitham because I don't know anything about that man.