One shots

After Passion

"Gabriel, what are you up to?", Nathalie asked him with a tired yawn, when she felt her employers arm around her waist, after he had placed himself behind her on her bed.

"I had the feeling, that you wouldn't want to be alone tonight either. Even if it's just for old time's sake, Nathalie, just let me hold you for tonight!"

She scoffed.

"Old time's sake? Which old times do you mean? The ones, when I was working my arse off, to fulfill all the tasks you were leaving for me too handle, or the times, when I, on top of this, tried to help you as Mayura, to support your madness?"

"Why don't you just stop being so angry and cynical and just try to enjoy, not being alone for once. And I didn't mean that the way it sounded! I just.....", he sighed, "oh Nathalie, this isn't the first time we're sharing a bed. So please, can't we just be there for each other, like we were before?"

Nathalie made a sound, he couldn't overhear, before she simply said:

"I am slowly dying, Gabriel! I am not in the mood, to be your release tonight!"

He gasped and pulled her close, held her tighter to his chest.

"That's not why I am here. There were times, when you couldn't wait for me, to sneak under your blanket at night! And though I felt guilty every time back then because I was cheating on Emilie, I never once regretted having been with you and you should still know that!", the man hissed in offense.

"I was so young back then, Gabriel! And so in love! Those first years, when we were out there, when Emilie stayed in the camp, I felt so grown up, though I was barely sixteen, when I first became your guide. That night, when we first, when Emilie was in London with her sister, I was only eighteen years old, Gabriel. I never before....!", she had started to cry and he knew, what she was thinking about.

Turning her around, so she would face him, he cupped her cheeks and whispered:

"I should have never even started to kiss you! But I was young too, though still older than you, but far from acting like an adult. I felt lonely that very first night and I had noticed the way, you were looking at me sometimes. And do I even have to mention, how hot you looked, with those shorts and that shirt, when you took of the rest of your stuff?"

Gabriel wiped her tears away with his thumbs now, then kissed her forehead very gently and started to speak:

"I am still blaming myself, that you lost..."

"Don't!", she spat, making him flinch, "please don't speak it out! I try to not think about it at all, so please don't make me!"

Now she couldn't hold back any longer and let go of the last control, that had remained.

The usually so coldly acting man held the vigorously sobbing woman to his chest and rubbed her back soothingly, while he tried to say anything, to comfort her:

"Please, love, don't cry! I was an idiot back then, and it seems, as if I still was! I was wrong to get angry and yell at you, when you told me! I would have never done any of the things, I threatened you with! And I know, that I stressed you so much, that...!"

He too was crying now.

"It wasn't your fault, Gabriel, neither was it mine! It just happened. Maybe it wouldn't have, if we had been somewhere near civilisation, but then and there...!", Nathalie tried to speak calmly but couldn't keep her sobs completely contained.

"Yeah, that's what you kept telling me back then and still do, every time I simply try to talk about it with you!", he was raising his voice now, "I loved that baby just as much, as I love Adrien! And I need to speak it out sometimes, that it was my child to, that died, when you had that miscarriage, Nathalie! I would have left Emilie to stay with you and the baby and you knew that! I never understood, how she was able to forgive the two of us and even tried to convince me, that she was okay with it, if I wanted to be with the woman, who was having my baby, as she wasn't able to anyway! She would have even been willing, to 'share' me with you! I have always loved you too, Nathalie. So please, after all those years, tell me the truth and speak it out, tell me that it was my fault!"

Gabriel had screamed the last sentence, then covered his face with his hands.

"It wasn't your fault, that I lost our child, Gabriel! There are many things, that hurt me, over the years, which you are to blame for, but this wasn't. I was hurting a lot back then, when I accused you of being responsible for everything! But as I told you so many times afterwards, it just happened. And now, let's just sleep please! I can't....I can't go on like this, I need to keep up my strength as long as possible, for Adrien! At least I want to keep the last promise, I didn't fail to keep!", Nathalie tried to sooth him with soft, but earnest words.

Gabriel took a deep breath.

"So, you're saying that, as if you allowed me to stay the night with you?", he wondered carefully.

"Yes, but don't dare to try anything!"

"I won't!", he said softly, then bent his head and placed a very light kiss on the corner of her mouth, "good night, Nathalie. And thank you for being here for me! I promise, I will try to be there for you a lot more, than I was all the time and for Adrien too, of course! I wish you sweet dreams!"

She blinked a couple of times, to be able to capture his behaviour, then nodded and muttered with a smile:

"I wish you the same, Gabriel! Thank you for being here tonight!"