White dust (Mature)

Part 1 - Filling a void

*This story contains drug use and adult themes*

Things were getting rough. As much as Stevie would say she was happy, content, no care in the world...it was a lie. Stevie was not happy, not content, and had many cares in the world. Being an aging woman in the world of music can take a toll on the body, especially when you have younger acts now trying to steal your crown or overall trademark appearance.

The main thing that Stevie was completely unhappy and discontent about was the fact that her love for Lindsey was beginning to hurt and break her so much that she was reaching for those brandy bottles again. Those bottles that used to keep her awake and from feeling on edge back in the eighties. Could she really begin an addiction again? That addiction where she almost killed herself years ago? The only thing that had stopped her from using coke again was the hole in her nose that very well could cause an aneurism but there was this need, this need to take anything that could ease the desperation and pain that she was dealing with day after day.

Even though she was on break from "On with the show" and just about to head over to the UK for the over seas tour, not being around Lindsey and having his arms around her - even if it was just for show or to be friendly, was tearing at her very soul. Did he fell the same? Did he think about her when they weren't on tour? Was he able to go home and not feel lost with out her? All Stevie knew was that she was going to need to find a way to hide this pain and suffering and the brandy wasn't helping. It only helped for such a short period of time and then her world felt like it was crashing once again around her. There had to be other drugs out there that weren't as bad as cocaine that could help with this aching need to feel relief. Whatever it was it wasn't going to be something that she would snort, it would have to be a pill or something to inject; herion? Maybe melting the coke in to a liquid form and injecting it that way? Yes. Yes that's what she'd have to do but only in small doses. It could be done and she knew the exact dealer that could get her the best in town but she'd have to be under cover. Just the thought of being all over the tabloids again and being scolded by family and friends made her cringe. She'd dress down, in jeans and an oversized shirt with her hair pulled up under a hat; that should make her look like anyone but Stevie Nicks.

Stevie called up a local dealer that she knew of but never contacted. It was the truth when it came to the slogan; sex, drugs, and rock n roll. Her lifestyle has always been about all three and though she wasn't having sex, the drugs were becoming appealing again.

Walking out of her condo undercover, she headed for the beach. Stevie had informed this dealer that she would be dressed casual and with a black ball cap. It belonged to her brother and he had luckily left it behind from a visit last month, it was her's now, so she decided.

It was strange being out in the public with out anyone at her side, almost felt vulnerable, but who could tell who she was in clothes like these? Stevie Nicks didn't wear jeans and she DIDN'T wear t-shirts, always blouses and leggings with heels. These sandals weren't about to give her away and not wearing make up helped her not stand out as well but she made sure that she put on those sunglasses, even if it was sundown; you just never could be too careful.

Once the dealer showed, she handed him a huge wad of cash, thanked him, and raced back to her condo; looking around her just to make sure that no one saw or could figure out what she had just done.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she walked in to her condo and threw the hat and sunglasses on to the floor, sitting down at the coffee table and taking the coke with the supplies she'd need out of her purse. Damn, she couldn't remember the last time she'd been high but the anticipation was too much. She was shaking.

Grabbing a spoon, she attempted to melt down the crack over a candle, mixing it with a little water and then grabbing a syringe.

"What am I doing...?" she whispered to herself and placed the spoon back down next to the syringe.