White dust (Mature)

Part 11 - Treated like a Princess

Another week passed and Stevie was just about ready to leave Betty Ford, she kicked the habit, so to speak and there was no need to cover up her feelings for Lindsey any longer. She was going to embrace them and learn to speak about them whenever acceptable, whether it was appropriate for her to do so or not, it was the only way to heal. Eventually she would end up tired of going on and on about their tradegy of a relationship and she could go on the way she used to before it once again got out of hand. All she wanted to be able to do was be in the same room with him again with out wanting to burst in to a heap of tears that pretty much would make no use and as she fiddled with the beautiful guitar pendant around her neck that he had given her, Stevie could feel that it wasn't the end for the two of them. If she couldn't have him physically she sure had him in ways that she wished she had when they were physical. They could talk one on one now with out becoming so enraged that they'd have to leave the room, or record on different days because they were being stubborn; their friendship was sweet and finally existing the way it should have when they were lovers.

Tim fell in to a deep love with Stevie and as hard as Stevie tried, she was not in love with him, just in lust - extremely attracted beyond belief to this young handsome man that very well could bring her much happiness if she opened up to it. He tried and tried to get her alone the way he had the first time they slept together but Stevie felt as if she was doing him a disservice by giving him a false possibility that they could be an item. All she wanted from him was a friend, maybe a friend with benefits that could come to her rescue when she needed physical release, it was the best sex she's ever had that involved physical attraction but it wasn't love. When Stevie had sex with Lindsey it was not just physical but emotional and THAT'S what made them so strong, so perfect for each other, but there was no emotional bond between Stevie and Tim. It was purely physical so why lead on the young man?

One evening before dinner, Stevie sat in the garden out back of Betty Ford and just thought to herself - wrote down everything that she was feeling and trying to feel. Once she got out of this rehab she wanted to make sure that she was finally over the fact that her and Lindsey just could never be and she had to come to a conclusion that there was no getting over him. If she couldn't get over him all those years ago then how could she get over him now? She was the fool, she played the wrong cards, and she lost; Lindsey belonged to someone else now.

A ruslting behind her made her jump and she turned around startled, staring at her young admirer as he sat down next to her and placed a beautiful fresh picked flower in to her hair; he kissed the side of her mouth gently as his hand grazed the back of her head. Her eyes closed as she took the moment for what it was, this man head over heels with her having at least thirty years on him. She smiled as he placed an arm around her shoulders and she sank in to his chest.

"You're almost out of here, huh, Nicks?" Tim said as his lips touched the top of her head, taking in the smell of her freshly washed hair.

"MmmHmm, a little under a week now," Stevie took his hand as he placed it in her lap.

"I'm going to miss you. I have fallen so hard for you," he admitted even though she already knew.

"Honey, I told you that we are way too different. It would never work."

Tim was quiet for a moment and then he sighed, he wanted this woman so bad that it hurt, "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

"Who?" she asked.

"Lindsey. Lindsey Buckingham."

Now she was quiet and then she softly spoke, "Sometimes there are things that you want but cannot be."

"In that case, how I feel about you is how you feel about Lindsey...except you don't reciprocate those feelings for me as he does for you."

"Tim," Stevie got up on her knees and took his face in her hands, "You are thirty five years old, I am sixty seven. What can you possibly see for a future with a woman that cannot give you children or keep up with you ten years from now? You won't be attracted to me much longer. There's so much out there for you yet."